Pearoast ... with extra Saddam!
This tops almost averything I've done...

I am so fucking guillible
You must understand all my family have um, quirks. I'm loud, one of my brothers is a Cliffie*, another one does a very credible Charles Manson imitation, and so on. My brother in the Army, Greg, doesn't suffer fools gladly and would cut assholes off with "I know you're lying" even when he was 14 years old.

The day Saddam Hussein was captured, my brother Sam called up all excited and said, "Oh my god, Tam, did you hear? I think Greg captured Saddam!"

"What? How do you know?"

"It was Greg's unit that was looking for him, the 597th, and they said on TV that it was the MPs that found the spider hole."

A chill went down my back. I holler at my children, "Kids, kids! Uncle Greg caught Saddam!" Everybody runs in and jumps on the bed (it's early in the morning) yelling and asking questions, my husband wants to know just what the hell is going on, who did what with Saddam Who, etc.

I finally shush everyone and ask Sam what else he knows.

"Well, I heard on TV that when the MPs found him, he tried to pretend he was just some old man they didn't know, and get this-the Staff Sgt MP said,'I KNOW YOU'RE LYING'"

I scream at the top of my lungs, "Greg caught Saddam! Greg caught Saddam!" The kids start yelling and dancing around, I'm crying, even my husband's saying, "Damn, I can't believe it." I breathlessly tell Sam I have to hang up and tell everyone in the neighborhood that MY very own brother captured Saddam Hussein, the Evil Dictator, blah, blah, blah when Sam shouts through my babbling, "Tam, Tam , TAM! Shut up. Calm down. I'm pulling your leg."

I could have fucking killed him. I was so excited and he just ruined it. Plus I felt like a moron. So now the whole family** will throw in "and I captured Saddam, too" just to yank my chain, the fuckers.

Although Greg did get a huge kick out of it when he heard. He actually called me all the way from Iraq to "set me straight".







*Do you have those in Britain? Somebody who always is spouting off authoritatively about subjects he doesn't know shit about? Named after Cliff Clavin on the TV show Cheers.



**even my mother
(TDub Nunc id vides, nunc ne vides on, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 3:48, 2 replies)

hahaha, for fucks sake :D
I hope Greg beats you with a bag of oranges when he gets home :D
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 9:18, closed)

Cliffie?
We call them politicians.
(dchurch bah, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 11:14, closed)