Originally
This godless little biblical parody was safely buried, I thought, in a reply to a reply to one of the Resident Loon's stories. At his suggestion I'm bringing it to a wider audience to further cement my future position amongst Satan's pitchforking minions.

missc was hassled by Christians for smoking. Why?

Well...

Nobody smokes in the bible. Therefore smoking is a non-god approved activity. Or some rubbish like that.

Of course they don't know about the missing passages from the Wedding Feast at Cana :

"11: And verily Mary the Mother of Jesus then saith unto him 'Oh Jesus I'm gasping for a fag, why do I only smoke when I've been drinking?'. 12:And Jesus saith 'It's because it's sociable innit?' 13:and he took some tapers and prayed to the LORD and behold they were not tapers but cigarettes, 14:yea, not roll-ups but nice Sobranie Cocktails, with gold tips and coloured paper and everything. 15:And the guests at the feast were much amazed, for Sobranie Cocktails are dead classy and quite expensive and also tobacco hadn't been invented yet. 16:And then Judas saith 'These are smokes for poofs, can't we have some nice cigars instead' " etc etc.
(richardm, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 15:23, 1 reply)

I clicked "I like this"
but it's not quite accurate. I LOVED this. I've been having a rubbish day, but now I am actually glad that I got out of bed this morning.
(BrainSurgerysFun, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 22:45, closed)