When I was a lodger
My landlord and his girlfriend went out with their different sets of mates one night. He went out to the pub with his buddies and she went dancing with her friends.

He came back at midnight, drunk, and went to sleep on the sofa knowing she'd come back and chuck him out of bed for being drunk, which he was right about, but it's still a bit hypocritical because she came back a couple of hours later, steaming drunk, went into the lounge, and apparently threw the kettle at him (I was in bed in another room, but I', guessing this is what happened based on his cry of "Don't throw the fucking kettle at me you bitch!"

I tried to ignore the noise, but in the end I had to go into the lounge because she was screaming for the police. They were both on their knees on the floor, him trying to grab her arms whilst she had taken a high-heel shoe off and was now hitting him with the heel and drawing blood.

I calmed them down, he slept in the lounge, she slept in the bed, and then the next day they asked me to move out because I'd "escalated the situation" by intervening.

I live alone now. I'm so fucking glad sometimes.
(SnowyTheWereRabbit the Leporid from Hell, Fri 13 Mar 2015, 13:42, Reply)