Restraining order
I have lived with over 50 people in my time and a good 30% of the population have serious personality disorders in my opinion.

The spunky bed sheet guy (see previous post). Bob the Bullshitter (his given nickname) who never told a true word and never batted an eyelid when confronted on his great fat bilious fib. The chap who was mugged while cruising for prostitutes and when the cops turned up explained in front of us he had just 'gone for a walk' in the red light district we lived in at 4am. The serious porn addict who collected 50 magazines and 30 movies in the 4 months I lived with him - despite his girlfriend being raped the year before he watched them constantly in front of her. The posh, fit, girl who lost her job and within a month called the police (who woke me up by shining a torch in my face) due to intruders rattling at her door (she had the tiniest lock in the world on her door; cause intruders would be foiled by that little puppy, given they've just beaten the dead locks and the alarm). She neglected to make the mental leap of recognition that the cat flap had been removed two days before - 3 cats bored at 3am leads to exploration for alternate places to pee.

But the best was a girl (let's call her Mad Devil Psycho Loon Hag for short) I lived with in Boston in the good old US of A when I lived there for a year. We were skint so my girlfriend, myself and a good girlfriend of ours shared one room (sadly no threesomes were to develop but I did cop a sneaky peak now and then... well it would be rude not to!). We advertised and found a 35 year old lovely lass (never trust drunken girls to approve your new flatmate) to move into the other room. She preceded to walk around the flat in only a t-shirt and no pants, to never clean up after herself when cooking, bring back random mental shags whom we found half naked wandering the flat in the morning, she'd fall asleep most nights in the living room with the TV loud as she passed out on 3 bottles of wine and enough tranquilizers to satify the silver haired matriacs of the Kennedy clan, then began stealing our things and trying to show naked pictures of herself to everyone who entered the flat.

We met one of her 'boyfriends' who was a psychologist (don't ask) who informed us she was totally tonto (no shit!) and to throw her out. When we asked her to leave she went mental and refused. After a day or two we were advised to go to the police station and ask for a restraining order to get her to leave. Unfortunately, when we got there we were informed there was already an order on the three of us that she had placed (she was experienced as she had had several placed on her before). Police turn up at the flat two hours later and state my girlfriend has a warrant in her name for an unpaid fine. Being the British gent I am I protested. I withdrew my opposition when looking down the barrel of a semi automatic pistol.

It all turned out fine after 3000 dollars of legal bills proving that the warrant was a 'adminastrative' mistake and she had indeed paid the fine the warrant was for - the judge wanted to put my Mrs in jail for a few more nights to make a point! The point being he was a twunt!

Basically we weren't allowed near the apartment without a police exscort, which took a week to organise. The three of us and our cat slept on the floor of our friends bedsit roughly 20 feet by 10 (we measured)... did I neglect to mention he had a fully grown Rottweiler! Fortunately my cat (Dune.. fab cat) and the rottweiler (Madison.. tried to protect me by attempting to attack any passer by when I took him for walks) got on like a house on fire.. often at 3 in the morning and I still have a long scar on my arm where Dune used me as a spring board to escape Madisons slavering jaws...

The hiatous from the flat also allowed Pyscho Hag to break into our room and steal everything valuable we owned...

Thankfully she left and an alcholic moved in just before I fled the country when myself and my girlfriend broke up (still close to her 12 years later on an entirely separate continant) which was actually an uncomplicated relief...

The only high point was when we found out she got fired shortly after from the printing and fax business she worked at... for faxing naked pictures of herself to 'friends' at the other branches... Natch!

Length... I feel better for it...
(Pachen9, Fri 6 Apr 2007, 20:29, Reply)