On the Enhancement of Found Stupidity for Aesthetic Pleasure and Social Comment
I worked with a relatively intelligent but quite gullible woman, enjoyable overall, but occasionally her semi-recessive idiot genes would win out and then WHAM! suddenly she's thicker than frozen pig shit pudding on a plank.

At a conference full of touristy pavillions from exotic places, she remarks that she's never even heard of some of them. "Like Micronesia?" I ask, and she looks at me like I'm full of it. "No, it's true!" I (rep)lied, "It's a reeeally tiny place, and all the plants and animals are like minatures." Then she knew I was lying, and there was therefore no such a place called Micronesia.

Along comes Jaindo. "Hey Jaindo," says Ms. Gullible, "Have you ever heard of Micronesia?"

Problem is, this whole thing is because of my reputation as an amusing jackass, so Jaindo assumes it's a joke and plays along - "Oh, yeah, it's beautiful. But it's really tiny."

So now Ms. Gullible is CERTAIN there ain't no Micronesia. I spend four days at the convention with her, telling her more and more stuff about this mythical paradise. All taken from official data about the real place. And she buys not a bit of it.

Last day, we are wading past a sea of vendors, and lo and behold, coming at us is a nice man in a t-shirt, passing out brochures, both extolling the beauty and pleasures of Lovely Micronesia.

I enjoyed watching the little gear-teeth fly out her ears.

I convinced another woman there that you could get the same lift as a double espresso by flashing a tiny light at the sides of your eyeballs. She did, several times a day for months, and swore by it.

Forgive me you must. I was amused as a child, and it scarred me for life...
(meatybrain, Mon 10 Jan 2005, 23:40, Reply)