Dear "she-who-must-not-be-named",
Firstly, forgive me for addressing you like a female version of Voldemort from Harry Potter, but these days I avoid speaking your name, and typing it can have the same effect as hearing it out loud.

I'm just cooking some Chorizo sausages. They remind me of you because the first time I tried some it was from the little delicatessen down the road from where you used to live. Walking past the back door I just let one of the cats out into the garden and I remembered how you sometimes used to call my mum's cats "cat 1" and "cat 2". Even the word "Cat" reminds me of you, as I'm sure you know.

I've just pressed "next track" on the MP3 player because the first words of the song "How do I live without you" remind me of the fact that I have managed to do so for nearly 10 years now. Last year on the 17th October I didn't even realise what day it was. Maybe this year I'll just have a few drinks and not quite manage to realise why.

A few weeks ago I found the pictures on Facebook. One of my friends is also one of your friends, so I can see your photo albums. I was drinking one night and I thought it wouldn't do any harm. I don't really remember the next couple of days after that. What's seen can't be unseen, as they say. You looked really happy, as any girl should on her wedding day. I hope he makes you happy always, I really do.

Meanwhile I keep myself busy,my spare bedroom is home to the colour laser printer I always promised myself, I can stay as late as I like down the pub, or at least until the Landlord calls time. When I get home the cats don't mind if I smell like beer, they just sleep in the other room.

I guess loneliness is the price I pay for freedom.

yours, with love,

-=# Amos E Wolfe #=-
not my real name...


Obligatory warning to others: don't leave it too late, heed the wise words of xkcd here
( Amos E Wolfe makes vinyl signs and things like that, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 0:32, 2 replies)

If you don't mind my asking
What happened, 10 years ago?

I split up from the only love of my life over a year ago now, haven't seen her in all that time and am still thinking about her quite often. I get dreams every now and then where I see her and she's pregnant / engaged, or something. It's quite terrible. I hoped that in nine years this feeling would have lessened.

Anyway clicks, though not necessarily for 'like'.
(1986, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 1:40, closed)

It was just another day
17th October 2000, which just happens to be the last time I saw her. She was the unrequited love of my life, the person who always came to mind when I listened to songs on the radio. As I walked back to the Railway station I got a funny feeling that this was the beginning of the end. I've spent the intervening period trying to get used to the fact that it wasn't meant to be.
( Amos E Wolfe makes vinyl signs and things like that, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 18:34, closed)