Lies Your Parents Told YouI once overheard a neighbour use the phrase "nig nog". I asked my father what it meant. As quick as a flash he said, "It's a type of biscuit. A bit like a hobnob." Can you beat this? BTW: We're keeping this thread open for an extra week as we're enjoying the stories so much.
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Fraser has joined the Moomins., Wed 14 Jan 2004, 13:29)
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Tar WormsOne day whilst walking home from the park I noticed some small round holes in the pavement. Some men from the council or the water board had obviously being trying to find a pipe or cable. I asked my mother "what are those holes for?" She replied they were made by worms. "But worms can't eat tarmac!" I replied, "But these are Tar Worms" said mother.
She then went on to explain how Tar Worms had evolved from normal worms when humans started building roads. They were an inch thick and had really sharp teeth to get through the tar and stones. For quite a long time I would leap over the holes to avoid the worms.
She also told me that she was a witch and would do all sorts of nasty things if I didn't behave. I read in Roald Dahl's "The Witches" that real witches had blue spit, so she couldn't be a real witch. Cue mother getting some blue food colouring and cackling loudly as I ran to my room.
"nig nog": I once found a copy of "The Ten Little Nigger Boys" which belonged to my mother when she first started teaching. I believe it is now banned by schools.
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Amos E Wolfe makes vinyl signs and things like that, Sun 18 Jan 2004, 22:37,
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