Lies Your Parents Told You
I once overheard a neighbour use the phrase "nig nog". I asked my father what it meant. As quick as a flash he said, "It's a type of biscuit. A bit like a hobnob." Can you beat this? BTW: We're keeping this thread open for an extra week as we're enjoying the stories so much.
( , Wed 14 Jan 2004, 13:29)
I once overheard a neighbour use the phrase "nig nog". I asked my father what it meant. As quick as a flash he said, "It's a type of biscuit. A bit like a hobnob." Can you beat this? BTW: We're keeping this thread open for an extra week as we're enjoying the stories so much.
( , Wed 14 Jan 2004, 13:29)
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Crocodiles
When i was about 6 or 7, i had a nasty habit of sticking my arm out the open window of a moving car. Probably liked the feel of the wind of something.
Anyway, my dad didn't like this, probably believing my arm would be severed by oncoming traffic.
But, of course, my dad didn't think to enlighten me of this fact. Instead, when we were on the motorway and my arm was fluttering about in the wind, my patriarch said "Wouldn't do that if i was you."
When I enquired as to why, he spun a ludicrous yarn about crocodiles (which incite and still do incite pant-browning terror in me)made of tar living in the asphalt of the road. He said they like nothing better than to JUMP and tear the arms off of small children who are cretinous enough to shove their arms out the window.
Now, my pater obviously was ignorant of the real, petrifying terror that crocs caused me, and upon hearing this i promptly shrieked, near pissed myself, yanked my arm in the window, and turned the handle to close it so fast that it almost snapped off.
Suddenly i realised the beasties were probably directly under he car, about 3 inches from my feet, and crocs in my fear-tainted mind possessing of the strength to pop up through the car's underbody like a jack-in-the-box, i drew my feet up onto the seat and sat there shivering for the rest of the journey.
I refused to set foot on a road for days afterward, and had howling nightmares for weeks. Even months later i still got nervous in cars.
First post, by the way.
( , Fri 23 Jan 2004, 18:40, Reply)
When i was about 6 or 7, i had a nasty habit of sticking my arm out the open window of a moving car. Probably liked the feel of the wind of something.
Anyway, my dad didn't like this, probably believing my arm would be severed by oncoming traffic.
But, of course, my dad didn't think to enlighten me of this fact. Instead, when we were on the motorway and my arm was fluttering about in the wind, my patriarch said "Wouldn't do that if i was you."
When I enquired as to why, he spun a ludicrous yarn about crocodiles (which incite and still do incite pant-browning terror in me)made of tar living in the asphalt of the road. He said they like nothing better than to JUMP and tear the arms off of small children who are cretinous enough to shove their arms out the window.
Now, my pater obviously was ignorant of the real, petrifying terror that crocs caused me, and upon hearing this i promptly shrieked, near pissed myself, yanked my arm in the window, and turned the handle to close it so fast that it almost snapped off.
Suddenly i realised the beasties were probably directly under he car, about 3 inches from my feet, and crocs in my fear-tainted mind possessing of the strength to pop up through the car's underbody like a jack-in-the-box, i drew my feet up onto the seat and sat there shivering for the rest of the journey.
I refused to set foot on a road for days afterward, and had howling nightmares for weeks. Even months later i still got nervous in cars.
First post, by the way.
( , Fri 23 Jan 2004, 18:40, Reply)
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