My Dad was a copper for 20 years. On his days off he built houses, including his own.
He raised my half-brother as best he could, but it didn't work out and at the age of 16, after various arrests for petty theft, drugs and car related crimes, my brother was kicked out of the family home. My dad and his adopted son hardly spoke for the next 20 years.

So it was quite a surprise when my brother turned up at my Dad's building site with a truckload of timber for sale, going cheap. "Where'd you get that?" my Dad asked, suspiciously.

"Ask me no questions and I'll tell you no lies," my brother replied with a cheeky grin, or as cheeky as can be when you've lost half your teeth to alcohol abuse and pub fights.

"You're a fucking idiot," my Dad replied. "This wood's wet, I'm a copper, and we live on a fucking island. Did you really think I'd buy stolen salvage off you to build my own fucking house? If any of my workmates turned up right now, we'd both be going to prison. Get the fuck off my property."

My brother is not the criminal mastermind he thinks he is.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 21 Sep 2016, 9:04, 1 reply)

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( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 23 Sep 2016, 10:34, closed)