My Grandad, circa 1962. Sat in the pub, quietly sipping his pint.
Door bangs open and a rather brash cockney chap barged in.
(to my grandad): Aright John?
Grandad: Are yer aright boy?(Grandad is somewhat rural).
Cockney Interloper: Cor, dun't yew lot tawk funny?
Grandad:........
C.I.: So, anyway John(not Grandad's name), woss ver best way to 'artest?(Hartest, is a village a few miles from where my Grandad lives)
Grandad: Are yew gooun' boi car bor?
C.I.: yes John.
Grandad: Then thass the best way.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 12 Jan 2012, 16:12, 6 replies)

I think you're missing a talk in the fourth line
Though I suspect your experiences with the /talk lot have given you an aversion to the word...
(SimianKid internet faffer, Thu 12 Jan 2012, 16:18, closed)

Or maybe
it's 'smell' that's missing?
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Thu 12 Jan 2012, 16:25, closed)

oh god.
i used to work with the man who does 'charlie haylock'. he had millions of these.
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Thu 12 Jan 2012, 16:31, closed)

His Uncle Charlie used to drink with my grandad.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 12 Jan 2012, 16:33, closed)

also: I once saw Charlie Haylock turn up to the folk Club at Long Melford to do some monologueing.
He called himself Gordon.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 12 Jan 2012, 16:33, closed)

his real name is gordon [redacted].
mad as a fucking badger, that one. also knows some of the filthiest jokes ever.
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Thu 12 Jan 2012, 16:35, closed)

Just as well he didn't ask if your Grandad knew the best way to Cockfield then.
Click for the dry old humour of pub codgers everywhere.
( Infidel , shit and wrong, Thu 12 Jan 2012, 16:34, closed)