Calcified campers.
Around age 11 or 12, the preferred weekend pursuit was to 'camp out' on whichever patch of weedy communal grass around the estate had least dog shit on it. Parental permission to do so meant at least 12 hours of unsupervised freedom. At night. Outside.

Even the occasional pop-in check did nothing to stifle the true illicit purpose of spending (much of) the night in some mildew stained, musty smelling tent... Milking.

No, not fumbling with bovines. Not a euphamism for wanking, or any other act of self abuse. Milking was the incorrect yet common (round our way at least) term for cavorting around the streets at 4am, stealing milk from doorsteps.

On the relative morning, we'd already scored the jackpot by having away half of the newsagents delivery, a full crate of yummy goodness each. The master plan had been to procure nesquick later.

We also were aware that some folk had other yummy dairy treats delivered too, so we toured the estate looking for yoghurts or orange juice for the taking. It was them we were spotted by a concerned citizen, on doubt believing that our furtive forray was that of burglars.

When the law caught up with us, we were found in possession of six ski fruit yoghurts and a pint of gold-top. I'd attempted to drop the milk, unseen into the long grass when I realised we 'had company' but when grasped tightly around the arm and posed with the loaded question; "What's that?" the shift-weary officer had a tiny wry grin when I enquired if it was a trick question.

My accomplice and I were duly bollocked, gave our names and addresses and were told to go tell our parents what we'd done and expect a visit from him later that day.

My mate duly did so and was rightly, severely punished by his folks. I hedged my bets and kept schtum. No police visit. No parental knowledge: no punishment.

Carlos the jackal's got fuck all on this bad boy.
(Greencloud Wanted to go fishing on, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 19:06, 1 reply)

I ate far too much yoghurt last night
I got completely mullered.
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 13:08, closed)