Should have, could have, would have, was not
A good few years back now - before I headed to uni for some good old hedonistic fun - I was in a bus with a bunch of folks from my martial arts class. We were heading down to Liverpool to compete in a tournament (the same tournament at which I received my black belt, well chuffed) in a minibus. It was one of those really shite winters where God decided that then would be the time to give his hair a good nit-combing and all his manky dandruff froze on the way to the ground. As such, the driver was having a right arse of a job trying to keep all four wheels from having a trajectory resulting in the bus intersecting with the tangent of the cliff to the left, and proceeding to carry us over.

I asked the appropriate question, "What better time to do MASSIVE DRUGS?"

Being a gang of cocky wee Highland shites with only enough brains to contain a few key pharmaceutical receptors - definitely not enough to be sensibly scared shitless - we started with my plentiful selection of uppers. As we picked through the supply, stopping the bus as necessary to do what the journey should have made us do with more explosive spontaneity, we eventually realised we'd have to get some sleep so we could compete in the compo the day after.

A few sniffs and puffs later and at least some of us were starting to drop off and make Chinese. One bloke, as he laid back on me, said in his addled state, "Mate, you should have been a head rest."

"Goodnight."
( clockworkrat has nice pants, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 3:41, 2 replies)

I read that whole thing expecting some sort of payoff and it still won't happen.
HOW I HATE YOU.
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 6:05, closed)

Cool story, bro.
Needs more ... story. You fucking bellend.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 9:09, closed)