Old cop/Young cop.
About 8 years ago.
My missus was pregnant and said to me one evening "Go and get me some KFC, I want KFC, craaaaaaaviiiings!"
So into her Corolla Station Wagon I climbed and drove to the nearest place of poisonous deep fried batter & mechanically separated chicken places and acquired her (& myself) some tasty treats.
I should at this point say that the missus' car had a serious case of "blown head gasket" cancer, was about 20 yo. (which in some car-years makes Joan Rivers look young) and had a death-rattle which sounded like it had been sampled from Trent Reznor.
As I drove home with my vittles I got pulled over by "The D's" due to the obvious sickness of the car. There was a younger cop who bounced around the car pointing out all it faults and threatening to give me a "canary" (a yellow sticker which denotes un-road-worthiness) with much glee & an older copper who sat back and said not much.
Once the catalog of faults had been compiled the 2 orificers of the piece approached me and told me the bad news.
So I said to the cops (mainly aimed at the older fella) - "So you're going to send me home to my pregnant wife with cold KFC and a ticket that says we basically have to scrap her car?"
"Fair call" he said, "Off you go - get rid of this heap of shit as quick as you can." The young bloke sat there with his ticket-book open doing goldfish impressions.
I managed to get home, give SWMBO some KFC and a couple of days later we sent the Corolla to the Car knackers & got hold of a lovely "baby-spew yellow" Corolla hatchback that went the distance.
Not so much avoided arrest - but it's nice to know that there are some grizzled, road-weary cops out there that can remember what it's like to be married.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Fri 27 Jan 2012, 8:57, 6 replies)

I can't wait for you to defend people calling this out as shit.

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 9:04, closed)

So.
Scarpe's been whining to you then?
You're shit. Also your shit.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Fri 27 Jan 2012, 9:19, closed)

So your story is
"I drove an old car and bought some KFC"?

Fascinating.
(leviticus no longer likes the cut of your gib on, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 9:14, closed)

I would've also gone with
"I got pulled over by the cops" & "You should've checked your wife's car coolant levels regularly"
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Fri 27 Jan 2012, 9:23, closed)

I think he relies on people having to translate his stories into English to give them that added frisson.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sat 28 Jan 2012, 7:27, closed)

well, I liked it. Been in a similar situation feeling like the world was falling apart and constantly trying not to implode.
A small bit of kindness can save lives.
( BrokenCoccyx doesn't mind if you grope on, Sun 29 Jan 2012, 0:04, closed)