Attempting to coax a performance
Many years ago, in the early days of home video, I had an urge to make a movie. A mate of mine came up with a story idea, and a project was conceived: we would make a comedy, to be called "Biggles Flies Undone"!

After many drunken nights arguing over the script, we had a lucky break: we met two girls, best friends, who were interested in being in the film. I had a "screen test" with them, and they were naturals - just effortlessly funny, feeding off each other brilliantly, and the camera loved them. A few other friends were signed up, a mate who had an empty flat was coerced into lending it to us, and we prepared for a two-day shoot.

And that's where it all started to go wrong. After giving up on one actor who insisted on using a real spliff for his scene, and consequently got so stoned he couldn't deliver his single, solitary line coherantly, I started to work with the girls, the jewels of our cast. I quickly noticed that the natural chemistry that I'd been expecting was strangely missing; there was definitely something wrong.

Eventually I discovered that the night before the shoot they'd had a huge row, and were barely on speaking terms. One of them had consequently caned a bottle of vodka before she'd even turned up. This had been noticed by one of the male cast members, who spent the entire time trying to shag her, rather than concentrating on his scenes. The other girl just kept weeping in a corner.

On the second day, the girls failed to arrive at all, and the one cast member who did bother to turn up had had his hair cut the night before, so looked completely different.

You'll be amazed to hear that the film never got completed. In fact I've never even been brave enough to watch the rushes, not even once.
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 11:14, 6 replies)

I love the film lingo you've used here while talking about a camcorder movie

( lucosade is counting down the minutes until, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 11:19, closed)

To be fair
This was old-school kit, a large shoulder/tripod mounted camera and a separate video recorder.

"Son Of Rambow" style.

In fact, it WAS the camera/recorder used in Son Of Rambow!
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 11:25, closed)

you made son of rambo?

( lucosade is counting down the minutes until, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 13:31, closed)

No, but I did rent them the video equipment they used in the film
'cos I happened to have the equipment from the right era.

I even got in the credits!
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 14:21, closed)

^^^
Nice.
(dchurch bah, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 14:42, closed)

Closest I've got to being in a film yet
I was an extra in a martial arts comedy, but my scene got cut. Which I only discovered AFTER I'd paid for the DVD!
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 14:58, closed)