Anna V1.0
I had a girlfriend once with whom I lived.

She suffered from Aracnaphobia in a serious way, and when visiting my parents there were certain precautions that needed to be taken. The house-spiders needed to be taken care of.

Now... in Sweden It's rare to see one of the nice hairy house-spiders knocking around... usually the spiders we see are no bigger than a 1p coin. Anna wasn't used to them.

We were sat chilling with my folks and drinking a(nother) bottle of red when Anna disappears to go pee. A minute or so later she re-appeared, white as a sheet and hyperventilating.

To cut a long and ultimately boring story short, Anna had been enthroned and reached to get paper. My Dad's cunning towel-rail come Bog-roll holder meant that the bog-roll was at face-height. As Anna had pulled the paper, a big hairy house-spider had come surfing over the top a mere 6" from her face: Not the way an aracnaphobe wants to be introduced the UK's largest spider.

From that minute onwards, I had to check each room before she went in. Or relationship didn't last long.

A phobia - by definition - is an irrational fear.... big fuzzy UK house-spiders are not dangerous in any way... unless of course... unless they lead the Wombles to your bedroom while you sleep.... then they're just plain evil. I keep a small traffic cone next to my bed for the explicit purpose of muzzling a womble incase I'm attacked. Once muzzled I'll use the lump-hammer to good effect.

That day hasn't come yet... but I'm waiting..
( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Fri 11 Apr 2008, 11:17, 4 replies)

Pfft!
I was always scared of Moomins. I've now been cured of this by enforced reading of the original books, instead of the scary tv show.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Fri 11 Apr 2008, 11:33, closed)

Birlliant
I've got this image of one of our house spiders (scare the crap out of me to be fair) heading over the top of the loo roll to the sound of wipeout and a pair (?) of hideous bermuda shorts on!
Click for that!
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Fri 11 Apr 2008, 11:35, closed)

Gets a click
For the Womble-muzzling traffic cone!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 11 Apr 2008, 11:39, closed)

It must be the hangover
But I read the first line as "I had a girlfriend once who lived".

Sorry.

But your womble defensive drills are first class, just make sure that Great Uncle Bulgaria getting a Scandinavian style slapping is recorded.
(osok Rebel without a clue, Fri 11 Apr 2008, 11:50, closed)