i think more appropriate would be how many times I failed
I'm not unattractive, I'm quite cute, but I think I just come across a bit odd to most men - too feisty but a bit shy, if that makes sense. Too much hard work for'em, maybe, but that's for another QOTW, I suppose.

Anyway, I abandoned my three strike rule for trying to get a guy (any more than that, and I'm usually inclined to get needy and desperate - not a sexy combo) for two men, and two men only.

The first was the spitting image of Joaquin Phoenix, and every time I clapped eyes on the man I sort of fell into a stupor. Once, I walked past him sitting on the stairwell; he was unshaven, crumpled shirt, looking knackered. I was so shocked by his incredible gorgeousness it was like a body blow, and I had to find somewhere quiet to sit down for a bit. Seriously. I found it rather hard to speak to him, but one day at college I got feisty and argumentative with a tutor during a crit, and this obviously pushed some buttons for him. We got talking. After that, there was much flirting, and I gave him repeated opportunities to do whatever he liked to me, way over the three strike rule, which he seemed to shy to take. Do you know what happened?
He disappeared.
Not metaphorically, literally.
I believe the police were called.*

The second chap I removed altogether the three strike rule, because I fancied him so damn much. Five years of togetherness later (despite at the beginning certain individuals trying to 'make' him gay and telling me he was) I still do fancy him. And he fancies me. And he takes my breath away by looking crumpled at least twice a week, a much better statistic.

I have chosen not to mention the times I wore a see-through dress, a latex dress or almost no clothes to certain parties to get certain men, as soberness and hindsight are a wonderful thing when it doesn't work.

EDIT: I just remembered something else. Shortly after the joaquin-a-like went AWOL, there was a chap on my course who had gained a reputation as the good time had by all the girls, and he took a shine to me. Criticism aside, he was pretty fit and charming. My confidence somewhat dented by the disappearing lovely, i was delighted to be invited over to his so he could 'teach me some Flash' (really). Instead, I was subjected to having to listen to his newly-discovered "talent" of making Cubase create sounds not dissimilar to a small ADHD child hitting random keys on a Casio keyboard. I forget how many times I stared longingly at his bed during this tirade, whilst passing inane compliments and advice gained from my side job working sound desks during event rehearsals. Egad, it was bad. But i think it's a singular boy thing to find a girl with knowledge in something surprising to them (gah, chauvnist bastards, I love them really), then they talk about this endlessly, THEN forget they want to shag you (I have also found this effect with my interest in comics, movies and music). He walked me back home, I got a big hug and kiss on the cheek, and a genuinely enthusiastic "I have so GOT to show you my new stuff! It's nearly finished, and you've got to hear the production!". I somewhat avoided his calls, as further affront to my ears was unnecessary.
I missed out on a shag because I knew about sound levels.

As a caveat to this story (because clearly his 'beatz' put me off. really.), he did a live set for one of our course's charity do's. I'd told my flatmates how painfully bad he was, and they rubbed their hands with glee. He got on stage, i was cringing already, then my flatmate pipes up 'crikey, the lighting's making him look like keanu reeves', which was true (though he didn't. at all). Then he started. And was terrifyingly good. He'd abandoned the plinky noises, and just gone for strumming a guitar over ambient sounds whilst singing, which he did well. So all the girls fell for him all over again, thus completely removing any further chance for me, and I was left with NO PROOF WHATSOEVER of his previous atrocious musical crimes. The bastard.

*I'd just like to say now, I had nothing to do with it.
(niceandwarmandhot vive la résistance, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 12:43, Reply)