Lost "Carry On" film
Recently, a group of researchers at Pinewood studios have uncovered a long rumored script for an unmade Carry On film. You must have heard of it, it's called Carry On Procrastinating.

HM Government is led by Bernard Bresslaw, who hilariously blunders from one cock up to the next, with predictably mirth some results. You'll giggle sides when he tells poor people to get their homes insulated, you'll laugh as he tells a bunch of rich Saudi Sheiks to pump more oil out of the ground instead of reducing taxes on fuels.

Meanwhile, the bubbly Culture Secretary played by Barbara Windsor gets herself into all kinds of comic japes. Watch the hilarity unfold as hapless Babs loses yet another laptop containing the names and bank account numbers of everyone in Britain!

Kenneth Williams plays Bresslaw's crooked arch-nemesis, who's called back into government to help them in the next election. Williams is seen scrounging for money from a Russian billionaire and cleverly he arranges for a passing public schoolboy toff take the rap instead.

Charles Hawtrey plays the ex-Prime Minister, who is amusingly afflicted with Munchausen's Syndrome and as such is utterly unable to separate fact from fiction. Fortunately for Bresslaw, he's touring the Holy Land pretending to be Jesus.

Hattie Jacques plays the harridan deputy PM who despises men, in particular her flatulent predecessor; Terry Scott who loves pies, Jaguars and risque moments with his secretary.

Finally, we have Frankie Howerd as the Chancellor of the Exchequer, caught with his pants down he decides to spend his way out of a wee spot of financial difficulty and hopes that no-one notices!

This would have been a classic Carry On had anyone gotten around to making it. They don't write 'em like they used to.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 20 Nov 2008, 14:32, 5 replies)

I like this,
Clever and well-written as always.

Shame you put it off to so late in the day :p
( Cawl, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 14:49, closed)

Haha!
It sounds a hell of a lot better than "Carry on Columbus". That was dire.



Note: I did not actually spend actual money to see Carry on Columbus. I was forced to watch the video.
EDIT: *clicks* a few more times, just for good measure. That's the first time I've clicked anything this week. You're special.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 14:55, closed)

We knew he was special...
Y'know... Special...
( Cawl, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 14:58, closed)

Count me in...

This also got my first click of the week. Well deserved.

My clicking finger had almost forgotten it's special purpose in life...and had relegated itself to the relative obscurity of being a bit part player in my right hand wanking team.
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 20 Nov 2008, 15:08, closed)

I'm clicking this reply
you can't stop me
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 15:23, closed)