Monopoly.
Yes, I am ashamed to say that at one point in my life I have worked as a delivery driver for a popular pizza home-delivery company that rhymes with "Geronimo's".

My job basically entailed dressing up in the most ridiculous-looking clothes possible (why oh why do fast food joints insist on their workers dressing in clothes that make you look like a clown? Is it to deliberately sabotage your self-esteem?), putting on some even more ridiculous-looking protective clothing over the top, and riding around on a Honda Lead scooter delivering pizzas at breakneck speed.

A couple of things pissed me off about the job - notably that the pay was shit (and my first wage was 4 weeks late), the manager had a nasty habit of shouting at people everytime they came back from a delivery because they'd taken too long (they tell you when you sign up that you're not expected to break the speed limits to make your deliveries - my arse! I had to do the scooter's shitty 50mph top speed all the way through town just to keep up), the fact that the manager wouldn't let me go home even if my last bus was due, and expected me to work Friday and Saturday nights even though I was told when I started that I was free to work when and only when I wanted, the Polish assistant manager who would sign all the drivers except for her mates, who she allowed to sit around doing nothing, off the clocking system when the profits were getting too low for the night, and chavs throwing fireworks/bricks/sticks at me.

I'm not going to tell the story of how I quit, because it wasn't very interesting (I worked there for two months and then I'd had enough) but I will say that there were a few high points - notably:

- Breaking a youth's foot by running him over with a scooter because he was standing in the middle of the road taking the piss,
- Learning how to wheelie,
- Getting 'air' over multiple humpback bridges,
- Deliberately putting people's pizza in the topbox upside down because they were rude on the phone,
- Riding the scooters around the kitchen

The moral? Don't ever buy your pizza from there - it's probably been fucked around with to high heaven and then taken on an urban moto-cross challenge during the delivery.
(Half of Stephen Fry's right buttock pissed on your dog on, Fri 23 May 2008, 16:22, 1 reply)

I have a cousin that worked for a competitor of the company of which you speak
he said they would play catch with the dough and rarely hit their targets. Then when someone would call in for a pizza, they'd find where the dough landed and set to work.

Best to avoid ordering from Pizza Slut as well...
( flirting with badgers What? It sounded good at the time., Sat 24 May 2008, 3:48, closed)