The Youth Work Experience Monkey
Many years ago, my department were given a break from ordering paperclips and playing with budget codes, and were given a youth of burgeoning years who was partaking of work experience to give pointless tasks to occupy their time and break their spirit.

Our youth this summer was a gangly creature, more arms and legs than anything else, downy hair and more awkward than a fart at a funeral.

We gave him the usual array of pointless shit to do, making beverages, fetching sweetmeats from the local baker, carrying boxes of nothing in particular from nowhere in particular to places of little interest.

After 6 weeks of the very nadir of bureaucratic nightmares, he cracked. We asked him to get some coffees, which he grudgingly accepted but one person asked him for some convoluted concoction (it might've been double moccachino-chocolate-fudge-decaf), and he stood prosaicly and proclaimed in stentorian tones, "I'm not a fuckin' slave, you're all bastards" and stormed out.

This in itself wasnt a surprise, we all felt the same way on a daily basis, the only difference being he was able to return to school in a couple of weeks time and continue spreading his chlamydia to the females in his year group.
No, the real cap on the whole story was how we watched him cycle off like a bat out of hell on a bike several sizes too small for him, like an enraged Noddy pedalling furiously across the car park, legs moving so fast they were nearly a blur, but his conveyance moving slower than if he were actually pushing it.

It passed a merry 10 minutes of mirth before we returned to our drudgery, secretly envying him his freedom to go and catch nob-rot from some teenage tarts.
(Vic Flange, Fri 23 May 2008, 19:54, 2 replies)

Err.
...If he's how you described, what makes you think the tarts would be so willing to help him build his STD collection up?
(Blueacid, Fri 23 May 2008, 21:04, closed)

I did an out loud laugh there
Great yarn, well told.
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Sat 24 May 2008, 8:22, closed)