Don't know if this counts
my mum told her parents this joke last time they were out here in Oz. They were all born in Great Britain. I was born in Africa.

"How can you tell a plane load of Poms?"
"You can still hear the whining after the engines have been turned off."

Grandad was not amused. He loudly proclaimed that Australia was "full of convicts and their descendants."
His smugness wore off when I then pointed out that they were all British convicts and the only reason they were there in the 1st place was because England didn't have enough room to incarcerate all the criminals that they seemed to be producing at the time.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:06, 22 replies)

So England sent them all to Australia
Where they now take the piss out of the people they descended from.
( Peej, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:25, closed)

Apart from omitting the "Aussies are all piss-heads" concept.
You seem to have captured the essence of the Australian psyche completely.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:33, closed)

Note to you;
pretty much everyone everywhere are all piss-heads.
I'm hard-pressed to name a (western) country where drinking isn't considered to be the national pastime.

And I'm not convinced the Arab Spring uprising wasn't just a load of angry young muslims all desperate for a pint. And some side boob.
(Gritty, yet fluffy. kipperpillock is obsessed with me =), Sun 30 Oct 2011, 13:28, closed)

Yeah, yeah I know.
I was more going for the stereotype. Bit like us and the South Africans are supposed to be really laid back as a people (according to my wide-ranging survey of a couple of travelling Canadian blokes I met at a pub ages ago) - I'll give them fucking laid-back!
Underboob.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sun 30 Oct 2011, 20:24, closed)

And then what happened when he laughed at you and asked your parents why you'd never been taught history?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 30 Oct 2011, 0:37, closed)

Do give me your ver. of how and why Australia was colonised.
As BD said - "Let's see how this pans out"
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sun 30 Oct 2011, 0:43, closed)

?
It's not my job to cure your ignorance, dipshit.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 30 Oct 2011, 0:51, closed)

Ahh the response of an ignoramus
with a superiority complex.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sun 30 Oct 2011, 0:59, closed)

There's nothing complex about my superiority to you, you simpleton.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 7:46, closed)

( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Sun 30 Oct 2011, 10:42, closed)

I'm really really curious here.
I was unaware that there was any room for dispute in the history of the English invasion and hostile takeover over the Australian continent (and the subsequent genocide and/or forced eviction of the native peoples)?

It may not be your job to 'cure' anyone's ignorance, but could you offer at least some hint of WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU ON ABOUT?
please?
(Gritty, yet fluffy. kipperpillock is obsessed with me =), Sun 30 Oct 2011, 13:35, closed)

Transportation was for cheap labour in the colonies.
It had nothing to do with Britain being too crowded.

I'm not quite sure how you read anything about invasion in my post. Did I write it in invisible ink or something?
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 7:45, closed)

I'm still trying to locate
Australia's colon on a map
( sutit only the crumbliest, flakiest posts, Sun 30 Oct 2011, 1:20, closed)

Doesn't get used very much anymore
mostly for digesting roughage. We call it the Liberal Party/National Party Coalition.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sun 30 Oct 2011, 1:56, closed)

Get Your Casual Racism Here

Dear old Oz. Still the most racist place I've ever lived. Home to "Fuck Off We're Full" t-shirt and bumper sticker. Where Greeks and Italians happily call themselves "Wogs". Houses are oftenj described to me by the missus as "a bit woggy". There was even a TV show called "Wogs Out Of Work".

We had a fish and chip shop owner, Pauline Hanson, who started a political party that was based on pure racism. At first, she was against all of the Asians (over here, Asian general means Chinese, Vietnamese etc. Indains are called Indians and, up until very recently Pakistanis were called Pakis even on TV) then she morphed into hating Muslims. Eventually she was kicked out of parliament, did some time in jail for fraud, and then, without a trace of irony, announced she was emigrating to Britain to get away from all of the immigrants over here. That didn't last long. She was shocked to find out that Britain also had Muslims. And she really didn't like all of the dark skinned Brits. So she came back. Which was a shame.

I get racially abused at times. Generally when we win at cricket. I get called a whinging Pom - which is rich when you consider how much the average Ozzie spends whinging - generally about immigration. Which again, amuses me no end considering almost all of them are immigrants or the descendants of immigrants.

Then you have the regional divides. Queensland hates NSW and Victoria. Victorians regard Queenslanders as sheep-shaggers and rednecks. Adelaide ignores everyone as beneath it's notice. They consider themselves "cultured". Western Australia hates the rest of the country and wants to break from Australia as they have all the minerals and want to keep them for themselves. And we all ignore the top-end as nobody except Aborigines live up there.

I do like it over here.

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Sun 30 Oct 2011, 10:10, closed)

Welcome to the Funhouse.
If you're westward on the 11th, feel free to join us.
fremantle.clancysfishpub.com.au/
EDIT: Any of you other fuckers try to bomb it, I'll shiv ya.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sun 30 Oct 2011, 11:00, closed)

hey wow. casual threats of violence - you sound totally stable, dude!
I'll be there.
(Gritty, yet fluffy. kipperpillock is obsessed with me =), Sun 30 Oct 2011, 13:38, closed)

Was going to make a sexist, racist joke here but then that would probably cut attendance by a third.
& then there were 3!
Might want to give the band some heads-up. ;)
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Mon 31 Oct 2011, 0:01, closed)

Crocodile Dundee liked black people though

(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Sun 30 Oct 2011, 12:02, closed)

True
But he couldn't eat a whole one
( Snappyuk gets BIGGER with free sample., Sun 30 Oct 2011, 18:24, closed)

Strewth!

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sun 30 Oct 2011, 23:50, closed)

Certainly not Leroy Brown anyway
Had a fair bit of meat on him, he did
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 10:47, closed)