ShopliftingWhen I was young and impressionable and on holiday in France, I followed some friends into a sweet shop and we each stole something. I was so mortified by this, I returned them.
My lack of French hampered this somewhat - they had no idea why the small English boy wanted to add some chews to the open box, and saw it as an attempt by a nasty foreigner oik to contaminate their stock. Not my best day.
What have you lifted?
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chthonic, Thu 10 Jan 2008, 11:13)
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Quite lame onesI got told to go back to the classroom for talking during a pantomime at school when I was 5. It wasn't me who was talking but the teacher didn't believe me, so in order to somehow lessen the injustice of having to miss the panto I slipped the copy of Mr Nosey from the class bookshelf into my satchel while I was alone in the classroom, and then went and weed all over the floor in the boys' toilets on purpose.
My criminal career didn't end there though - when I was 14 I nicked some top shelf magazines from the video shop in the village (Knave, Men Only, Whitehouse and Asian Babes, if memory serves). One by one I jammed them up under my armpit inside my school blazer until no more would fit, and the dozy old cow behind the till didn't notice a thing, but then to my acute embarrassment they all fell out as I was crossing the main road outside the shop and started blowing about in the road (the video shop is on the brow of a hill), meaning that I had to actually chase the jazz mags up and down a main road in slow moving school-run traffic in order to retrieve them.
(, Thu 10 Jan 2008, 21:58, 2 replies)
only clicking cos...I'm a bit tired after applying for jobs online, and misread 'armpit' for 'arsehole' and you made me laugh for the first time today!
So thanks! Even though that's not what you said...err...
/opens some more cider...sniffs...
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curvylittlegoth heard the voices in your head on, Fri 11 Jan 2008, 0:01,
closed)
Glad to have...unintentionally made you laugh! :-)
(, Fri 11 Jan 2008, 19:30, closed)
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