Well, that taught 'emSammi Evil Nice writes "I shared with two students, and it was always the same; whenever it was near to paytime, my milk *and only this* would disappear.
One of them, John, was a lovely bloke but allergic to nuts. John makes tea. Soon after, John starts swelling up.
ME: Runs, administers epi-pen. "You're going into anaphalactic shock."
HIM: "How do you know?"
ME: "I put almond oil in my milk."
What have you done to teach somebody a lesson?
(, Thu 26 Apr 2007, 14:54)
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Ah, school daze...School. I can't remember what osmosis is, or how to ask for a piece of cake in French, but I remember the violence and retribution that existed on a daily basis. For example:
I arrived at school in my brand new white Puma trainers. Naturally, somebody wanted to stamp on them to make them dirty. His name was Peter Bell, and as he lunged in for the kill I kicked him full on in the nuts. I swear his cheeks bulged with his own testes and his eyes goggled like a cartoon. He didn't get up off the floor for 30 mins.
Another tosser kept trying to write on my new Head bag (remember those?) so I hacked him across the back of the hand with my 12" steel ruler and watched with glee as he writhed in an ecstasy of pain and paralysis.
Occasionally I was the victim. As a teenager, I had a boner pretty much 24 hours and once, while waiting in the dinner queue, somebody thought it would be hilarious to hit the tip of my rigid bell with a hardback biology book. I fell to the ground in agony and lost my place in the queue.
Happy days.
(, Fri 27 Apr 2007, 9:15, Reply)
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