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This is a question Well, that taught 'em

Sammi Evil Nice writes "I shared with two students, and it was always the same; whenever it was near to paytime, my milk *and only this* would disappear.

One of them, John, was a lovely bloke but allergic to nuts. John makes tea. Soon after, John starts swelling up.

ME: Runs, administers epi-pen. "You're going into anaphalactic shock."
HIM: "How do you know?"
ME: "I put almond oil in my milk."

What have you done to teach somebody a lesson?

(, Thu 26 Apr 2007, 14:54)
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Posting about posters...
Leeds Festival last year, the company I work for does all sorts of Festival advertising and one of the perks is getting to go to the festival for the weekend to photograph all the posters and see the bands.

I was lining up a shot of a Kooks poster when a teenager (couldn't be more than 16/17) grabbed a corner and tore most of the bottom half off, drunkenly declaring "the Kooks were shit". I went up, grabbed him by the shoulder, and asked him why he did that. He shot me a look of pure venom and said he hated the Kooks. I said there was no reason for him to tear the poster down, as it was my job. He then proclaimed me full of shit, and went back sniggering to his friends. Twat.

Anyway, an hour or so later, when I was minus camera and a couple of pints the heavier, I was walking past a bank of the posters, I saw the little cunt again, this time trying to tear down a GTA poster. By then it was obvious he was being a vandalising little shit, so I paced it over while he was still facing the other way.

I'll never quite know why I did what I did (more than likely it's a combination of reading too much Preacher and pure love of my job) but I grabbed his greasy locks and slammed his face into the poster bank (just once) and dropped him on the floor, in a crumpled heap with blood pissing out his nose.

I then found the nearest = security guard, flashed my staff pass and explained the situation. Glad of the excitement, he followed me over, stripped the now blubbing teen of his ticket and wristband and in front of his friends (who had idly stood by since the head v.s. board incident!) had him thrown out of the Festival.

That'll teach 'em.

Length? It's not big and it's not clever.
(, Fri 27 Apr 2007, 11:01, Reply)

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