Well, that taught 'emSammi Evil Nice writes "I shared with two students, and it was always the same; whenever it was near to paytime, my milk *and only this* would disappear.
One of them, John, was a lovely bloke but allergic to nuts. John makes tea. Soon after, John starts swelling up.
ME: Runs, administers epi-pen. "You're going into anaphalactic shock."
HIM: "How do you know?"
ME: "I put almond oil in my milk."
What have you done to teach somebody a lesson?
(, Thu 26 Apr 2007, 14:54)
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One little change makes all the differenceMy mate was a politico and he had just been elected as a councillor in a by-election a few months before the real across the board election. Now my job at the time was to write and design and organise the printing of the election leaflets for a particular political Party. It was with great joy in a week when he had pissed me off beyod belief over a girl that i was given the task of printing his leaflets for his re-election campaign.
He wrote something rather bland (just as politicians have learnt for generations to maximise their appeal): "Since being elected 6 months ago, X has worked hard for the community as a whole. Those of you who have met X will already know this"
I spotted my chance. After he had got his correctly printed leaflets I created a few extra ones - exactly the same leaflet except for a single change to each one. I crumpled them all up and waited until he had got the (correct) leaflets all delivered through the doors and I could spring my revenge.
I went out and found him up a lamp-post putting up posters. "Oh my god" I feigned horror "have you got all those leaflets out? Fuck me - I hope not - there's a terrible mistake!"
He looked at me in horror - and I handed him the modified leaflet. Now it read:"Since being elected 6 months ago, X has worked hard for the community as a whore. Those of you who have met X will already know this".
A look of abject fear passed over his face - his future political career was over. He looked at me as he dropped his ladders at his feet in shock and asked pathetically: "Should I put an advert in the Courier to say I'm no a whore?"
I left him there; I was so pleased with my coup. I was still smiling when he phoned me at 4am later that night to berate me for my trick when he'd got home at last after a night in the pub bemoaning his fate and had drunkenly checked one of the real leaflets and realised my trick.
Length? it was only a single letter - hardly long at all. But such a hard (mind) fuck!
PS Good luck next week Graeme with your latest election - I forgiven you now many years later - and this time I've not fucked anything up for you at all - if you lose it's all your own fault mate!
(, Sat 28 Apr 2007, 14:52, Reply)
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