Well, that taught 'em
Sammi Evil Nice writes "I shared with two students, and it was always the same; whenever it was near to paytime, my milk *and only this* would disappear.
One of them, John, was a lovely bloke but allergic to nuts. John makes tea. Soon after, John starts swelling up.
ME: Runs, administers epi-pen. "You're going into anaphalactic shock."
HIM: "How do you know?"
ME: "I put almond oil in my milk."
What have you done to teach somebody a lesson?
( , Thu 26 Apr 2007, 14:54)
Sammi Evil Nice writes "I shared with two students, and it was always the same; whenever it was near to paytime, my milk *and only this* would disappear.
One of them, John, was a lovely bloke but allergic to nuts. John makes tea. Soon after, John starts swelling up.
ME: Runs, administers epi-pen. "You're going into anaphalactic shock."
HIM: "How do you know?"
ME: "I put almond oil in my milk."
What have you done to teach somebody a lesson?
( , Thu 26 Apr 2007, 14:54)
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Chavs always deserve it
A delightful chav who lived a few streets down from me a few years back was the victim, he always smoked in my garden and threw beer bottles at the windows, in the end he ended up breaking the front window. So one night after maybe a few too many to drink we went to his house in my wide assortment of mountaineering balaclavas and
1. broke into his saxo and stole the steering wheel
2. broke into his house and ripped up the carpet in his living room
3. broke the back door
4. pushed the washing machine and fridge into the back garden pond
5. splashed the living room walls with lead based paint
6. pissed on his leather settee
7. tipped the rest of the paint on the settee
8. ran up and down the stairs screaming
the thing was we could hear him shouting behind an upstairs door, he was screaming, peter we will call my friend had had the brains to be the first to run in straight upstairs and cover his door in industrial strength masking tape, so the bugger couldnt get at us
my memory gets a bit vague there but next morning was the worst morning and best morning in my whole life, i had the worst hagover ever and somehow i managed to break a rib (mystery to me) but when i walked down the road later to goto the shops i walked past his house, about 3 police cars were outside it :S:S oh dear shitshitshitfuckfuck i thought, but luckily, mr chav had no idea who it was, he prob thought it was his chav friends, but he moved not long after and for the next 6 months or so there was scaffolding outside his ex-house no idea why :S but he deserved it
we were drunk and there was about 30 of us :D, i deffinitely wasnt the ring leader
( , Mon 30 Apr 2007, 23:55, Reply)
A delightful chav who lived a few streets down from me a few years back was the victim, he always smoked in my garden and threw beer bottles at the windows, in the end he ended up breaking the front window. So one night after maybe a few too many to drink we went to his house in my wide assortment of mountaineering balaclavas and
1. broke into his saxo and stole the steering wheel
2. broke into his house and ripped up the carpet in his living room
3. broke the back door
4. pushed the washing machine and fridge into the back garden pond
5. splashed the living room walls with lead based paint
6. pissed on his leather settee
7. tipped the rest of the paint on the settee
8. ran up and down the stairs screaming
the thing was we could hear him shouting behind an upstairs door, he was screaming, peter we will call my friend had had the brains to be the first to run in straight upstairs and cover his door in industrial strength masking tape, so the bugger couldnt get at us
my memory gets a bit vague there but next morning was the worst morning and best morning in my whole life, i had the worst hagover ever and somehow i managed to break a rib (mystery to me) but when i walked down the road later to goto the shops i walked past his house, about 3 police cars were outside it :S:S oh dear shitshitshitfuckfuck i thought, but luckily, mr chav had no idea who it was, he prob thought it was his chav friends, but he moved not long after and for the next 6 months or so there was scaffolding outside his ex-house no idea why :S but he deserved it
we were drunk and there was about 30 of us :D, i deffinitely wasnt the ring leader
( , Mon 30 Apr 2007, 23:55, Reply)
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