TMI or TME?
I can't believe I'd forgotten about this one. Reading k2k6's story about the veet incident reminded me.
Several years past, when Mrs Greencloud was a young (18 - 20 ish) Fiancee of Greencloud she had an appointment with the quack for some lady-matter or other. It may have been a smear test - whatever they are.

Being an image-conscious type, she'd gone in the bath beforehand to prepare said growler for medical examination. Having thoroughly cleaned shaved / waxed / plucked to perfection she applied a little moisturiser to ward off razor-burn on the delicate pink parts.
Wait for it.......

Apparently, upon seeing her de-kekked kebab the doctor had began to chuckle and called over the attending nurse who also was obviously supressing a guffaw. Immediately concerned and offended, my Mrs demanded to know what was up. If I remember correctly, the nursed handed her the recently removed knickers by way of explaination, the crotch of which was apparently shimmering like a QVC diamante special.

The explaination?: She'd mistaken her small tube of moisturiser stuff for the assumedly similar tube of 'body glitter' (Apparently a trend in the late 90's / early 00'ies. Body glitter - for the benefit of us blokes - was a clear gel stuff laced with tiny flakes of crushed glitter which ladies applied sparingly to breast/chest areas when dolled up for a night on the razzle to provide a "shimmering" effect)

The upshot was that my wife nervously attended her smear appointment and timidly lay back to reveal to a medical practitioner her finest impression of a 'disco-cnut'!!!

Too much information? Probably. I could have condensed this into; "My wife once went for a smear appointment with body glitter rubbed on her chuff"

Too much effort? I bet it was the best presented fanny that doctor's ever seen!

Length? Once, mine was 'diamond'!
(Greencloud Wanted to go fishing on, Thu 6 Sep 2007, 16:49, Reply)