An all true pea from the late naughties
Trains in the middle of the fucking street

Cast your mind back to 1994 and Imagine if you will the young Australian traveller on his first visit to the continent. After a 24 hour flight to Frankfurt and a 4 hour train ride he arrives at Amsterdam for his first taste of the Dutch.

After finding a cheap and seedy hotel, he ventures to the nearest café to see if the rumours are true and you really can buy dope over the counter. Imagine if you will his utter delight when he finds not only can you buy the aforementioned brew but, you have a variety of interestingly named types to choose. With skunk, super skunk, northern lights, blonde bomb or grasshopper special blend running through his over excited brain he murmurs to the resident purveyor,

“What’s your best shit mate?”

For which the retailer asks “what sort of high are you looking for?”

“I want it to smash me”

40 guilders later he is clutching a bag of super skunk. Taking a seat at the bar, he orders a coffee (consumption compulsory) and roles up fat spliff after fat spliff disappearing for several hours into a cloud of pungent smoke.

Finally he makes to leave, baseball hat crammed on to his head, sun glasses firmly on face, back pack on shoulder he strides out the door and across the street when he hears it……………

The faintest of ding dings.

For reasons unknown,

he stops,

dead in his tracks as a rush of wind buffets his face and a 20 tonne tram knocks the baseball hat from his head and under it wheels.

“WHAT SORT OF COUNTRY IS THIS WHERE THEY HAVE FUCKING TRAINS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET” he cries to no one.

3 more inches forward, he would have died that day a long way from home where nobody new his name.
(bad_advice QOTW survivor from the first trollocost!, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 23:21, 11 replies)

Umm..
Melbourne, Sydney & Adelaide.

Stoner.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Fri 19 Apr 2013, 23:36, closed)

Fuck Melbourne
it's shit.

In the early 90's we hadn't started with that light urban rail hippy pinko bullshit. We should have learned from the highly successful mono-rail and at least that cunt of a thing was 20 meters in the air.
(bad_advice QOTW survivor from the first trollocost!, Sat 20 Apr 2013, 1:32, closed)

Aggreance with your sentiments on Maaahlbuurn.
At least out West we make all the lazy bastards drive everywhere instead.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sat 20 Apr 2013, 1:45, closed)

Would his new name have been Mushface?

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 19 Apr 2013, 23:46, closed)

If only you'd been 3 more inches forward, nobody would have had to read that.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Sat 20 Apr 2013, 11:24, closed)

If only your cock was 3 inches shorter
Then you'd be a girl.....
(bad_advice QOTW survivor from the first trollocost!, Sat 20 Apr 2013, 12:50, closed)

I'm not entirely sure that's how penii work.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Sat 20 Apr 2013, 18:20, closed)

If your dad's cock had been a bit shorter
maybe you wouldn't be here.
With your chin.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sat 20 Apr 2013, 23:54, closed)

penises

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sun 21 Apr 2013, 8:44, closed)

Should have gone to Boston
...where everybody knows your name.
( Snappyuk gets BIGGER with free sample., Sat 20 Apr 2013, 22:06, closed)

very good.

(bad_advice QOTW survivor from the first trollocost!, Sun 21 Apr 2013, 5:45, closed)