Drunken nudity is a bit of an unfortunate theme for me
To be honest this is my girlfriend's story rather than mine, although I do play the starring role.

Last year we spent a couple of months in South East Asia. We were doing most of it on our own but since public transport is basically non-existent in Cambodia we decided to do that bit with a tour (Intrepid Travel - very good if a little pricy)

We'd been in Siam Reap for a couple of nights and were drinking in a bar called Angkor What (tacky name, awesome place!). I was drinking some lethal Mekong Whiskey based cocktail whose name escapes me, but it did come in a bucket so WIN! My girlfriend managed half of hers and then went back to the Cosmopolitans but I perservered through several more (it was about £4 for half a litre of booze for fecks sake).

We got back to the hotel at about 3 in the morning and were let in by the nightwatchman who slept on a camp bed in the lobby. We then went to bed and I woke up in the morning with a stonking hangover.






At least that was how I perceived events. According to my girlfriend she woke up about an hour later when I got up to go to the loo. I was taking quite a long time but she just assumed that I'd fallen asleep in the bathroom as happens on occasion after a skinful. Suddenly the main door to the room burst open. I wandered in and stumbled into the bathroom, had a piss, got into bed and fell asleep.

As with many b3tans it seems, I sleep in the nuddy.

What actually happened to me during that half hour spell was pieced together over the next couple of days.

Two of the Aussie guys in our group had got back to the hotel even later than us. They arrived just to see "some white bloke's" pale naked arse running up the stairs from the main lobby. I think I'd gone to look at the nightwatchman asleep on his camp bed - I was strangely obsessed with him, I don't know why.

While waiting for the bus a Norwegian girl told my girlfriend in horror how somebody had tried to break into her and her boyfriend's room in the middle of night. They'd forgotten to lock the door but had put the chain on. With perfect comic timing her boyfriend then added "And you know what it looked like he was naked. I went over to the door and he ran off down the corridor."

I was keeping very quiet and needless to say my girlfriend was absolutely mortified. However it appeared no-one could make a positive identification...

Until that is the lovely little Korean girl who'd barely said a word all trip asked my girlfriend if I'd slept ok. Apparently I'd given up trying to find the right room and just lain down in the corridor. She'd been woken up by my naked scrabbling on the floor outside her door and somehow persuaded me to get up and then helped me back to my room.


It was a slightly awkward 4 hour bus trip to Phnom Penh that afternoon.

However it was nothing compared to that time in France with the in-laws...
(Milo Minderbinder, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:44, 3 replies)

You sir are the king!
And you would have gotten away with it if it weren't for that pesky girl.
( Evil Bastardo, Thu 28 May 2009, 17:03, closed)

Cambodian bars ftw!
I drank a huge amount of interesting and potentially dangerous things in Siem Reip. Brilliant place.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Thu 28 May 2009, 22:44, closed)

*click*
Just for : "I think I'd gone to look at the nightwatchman asleep on his camp bed - I was strangely obsessed with him, I don't know why."
(lochii, Sat 30 May 2009, 1:46, closed)