much too much.
It was the tuesday after glastonbury and I had got home in a horrific state and gone directly to bed at three pm. Maybe it was all the acid but I was having some particularly vivid dreams about Michael Eavis and his beard... in one it climbed off his face and transformed into a tiny piglet which I chased around his back garden until it transformed again into his daughter who brutally bum-raped me with a carrot. No laughing matter I tell ye.

After one of these lucid nightmares I woke up in a cold sweat. I didn't have the energy to go to the toilet so satisfied myself with a little guitar playing in the dark. I remember picking out the lead line from Soundgardens Black Hole Sun when a mysterious spectral light started shining through the gap underneath the door. Think Cherenkov radiation.

It freaked me out but I figured it was probably a hallucination of some kind, so laid my guitar gently on the floor, instead of it's usual spot upright against the wall, pulled the duvet over my head and lay back down.

As soon as my head hit the pillow there was a hand around my throat. A horrible, hairy, smelly hand gripping my windpipe. Choking me. I tried to cry out but couldn't make a sound. Everything was going fuzzy and warm and I thought I was going to die. Using every ounce of my strength I reached up to my neck to try and remove the offending appendage...

There was nothing there. I sat bolt upright, drenched in sweat and screamed. It was daylight... about 5pm. My mum came into the room and said 'What's the matter!!?' I must have been ashen because she was looking at me very strangely. I noted my guitar leaning against the wall and burst into tears. Then I ran past mum, bollocks dangling in the breeze (mine, not hers) and locked myself in the bathroom for a nice poo/vomit/cry.

I suppose the lesson learned was - when it comes to drugs.. there is such a thing as too much.

EDIT: I thought my story was brilliant and scary and interesting but have just discovered it to be basically the same as most of the others this week.... 'I had a strange experience. It was scary. It was a dream. The end.'
(Ktulu O'Ryleh float like a turd, sting like chlamydia, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 15:59, 1 reply)

@EDIT
Ha ha ha! *click*
( chart cat has an itch, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 18:24, closed)