I actually know a lot of (useful, employable and trivial) stuff in very high detail, and can apply the knowledge in the real world (quite acceptably well in numerous and documented occasions) -or else I'd not still be in a job . Never mind the hobbies.
But due to a Catholic upbringing where you are endlessly guilt-stricken thanks to the Church and the Folks correcting you (verbally or physically)on every tiny little infraction of their code of etiquette
, it's hard to have confidence that what you're doing in everyday life is OK and acceptable- in their standards (which aren't a matter of record, by the way, else you could call them on double standards...) and you won't be smitten by the angry hand of discipline no matter how correct you thought you were.

So, essentially, while I've been mainly right all along, I've been labouring under the phantom childhood malaise that I'm only just barely getting by, short of a thrashing for my shoddy performance.

Then occasionally I remember, hang on... I've made it so far. Surely you can't be shit at everything for this long and still be alive and making money. Managed to keep it going long enough to have a lovely girlfriend, grown up daughter, rewarding dayjob...

Yet sometimes when everyday details bog me down, I forget all of that- and the comfortable familiar (shit, we'll be found out and fired!) feeling comes back.

On the other hand, I look at the alternative-folks who feel no motivating force0 to take the easy money, to do the safe job, to rip the piss out of the system. The day I assume I'm owed it all is the day I become a tosser.

I've been in my industry for 12 years now, we just all move about between departments every couple of years so you don't get prematurely comfortable and therefore lazy. But the edge of fear about losing my job does make me try, even when I think I may be out of my league.

It's the non-tryers who get fired.
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Wed 3 Apr 2013, 23:53, 2 replies)

Congratulations
I sincerely hope you aren't a "sales associate" (retail peon), "customer representative" (call centre peon) or "wealth manager" (confidence fraud peon) because then your accomplishments would be "special".
(the other guy not the one that gave you coochie warts, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 1:11, closed)

This explains a lot. All the mega-guilt stricken Micks I know are specialist Doctors or mega Lawyers. But, they still aren't "comfortable in their own skin". Me, I'm totally relaxed, but have never really achieved my potential, and never will. Must be a balance somewhere in the middle.
( Ken Oath, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 1:49, closed)