Broken Heart-Broken Fingers
I was seeing a girl who was (shoot me) still living with a boyfriend. At the time I was still at my folks so bedroom frolics were by nature impromtu moments.
I had met this girl at a nightclub and we had gotten a wee bit amorous while I was walking her home. Luckily we lived in Hull (lots of little alleyways to duck into!) and on the way home she dragged me into a dark and secluded place for a wee bit of stinky finger fun.
She was a fairly big lass (Hi Gemma if you are looking in) and was wearing the tightest of tight jeans. I undid the top button of these and slid me hand due south and inside her pants. I located the man in the boat and give him a quick touch-up before moving further down to wetter climes. So there I am, in February, the snow settling on my shaved head, with my fingers deep inside a fat lass in Hull. "Does it get any better than this?" I thought. It Didn't
My thumb relocated the man in the boat, and she seemed to enjoy so i rubbed more vigorously. My partner in friggage then whispered romantically "Fuck me, I'm cumming" and her legs gave way.
I mean GAVE WAY.
She landed on her knees and the following happened to me:-
2 x broken fingers,
1 x dislocated wrist,
1 x broken radius,
1x broken ulna.
Luckily we were just around the corner from Hull Royal Infirmary, and holding my arm, I staggered there with this girl still rosy cheeked with the FFG (Freshly Fucked Glow).
The Nurse took one look at my hand and said "erm, Mr Airliebird....... would you like to wash your hand before we go any further?"

Now that beats any banjo string snapperage stories.... I didn't even get him out!!!
(airliebird Has now found Twiglets in Sydney!!!!!!! yay!, Mon 18 Jun 2007, 11:38, Reply)