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Classic Films

(Sun 2nd Mar 2003, 11:20, More)

Best answers to questions:

» Heckles

I konw it's nothing to do with celebraties, but Insulting celebraties rocks!
That Jeaneane from Eastenders, ages ago when her charcter was selling her body. I bumped into her a gig I did, my mate, being a show off says.

'Alright love, how much for a blowjob'
Her comeback was
'So you're too stupid to realise that my chacater on TV isn't real?'
not to be undone he says.
'You're on TV? I thought you just looked like a whore!'
(Fri 7th Apr 2006, 16:24, More)

» The Onosecond

Yeah sweetie, I'm just going to have a quick look on this shite website full of people who have nothing better to do but make shite pictures and think they're all so clever 'cause they know how to use photoshop. Christ what a lot of back slapping, self-important, arse licking wankers. ooohh a picture of a kitten with someone elses face how fucking funny. ohh stephen gerrard is a" scouser so the policeman thought he stole the cup, how funny. Oh some foreign name sounds like something rude in english, you know shit we used to laugh at in primary school. And there's some guy who always tries to make up surreal stories as an answer for something called QOTW, and they really are completely fucking boring, not to mention some cunt called Rob Manuel, who seems to spend all his time looking at porn then making crap games with it, MY GOD can't these sad tosser loosers get a life, oooh my Girlfriends parents saw me naked, doesn't interesting stuff happen to me. CHrist talk about computer geeks.
Anyway, I'll pick up a pizza on the way home, can we play that you game tonight, you dress up as darth vader and I'll piss myself like a naughty boy, now I've got bonner, how I love your fat arse.
(Thu 26th May 2005, 14:54, More)

» The Onosecond

I've just send my wife an email with a boring story about texting an ex-girlfriend by mistake.
(Thu 26th May 2005, 14:56, More)

» Petty Sabotage

Real life B3TAing
I worked at boots the chemist before I went to university, many moons ago............. I would regularly get pissed/stoned at work, and because I was a self stacker/ stock blokey I worked on my own in the evening no-one ever knew how off my face I was.

Once I was making a display with cute little teddies that held letters, you know the ones. The next day I went in to collect my wages and my supervisor turned round jokingly and said
'I saw that display, naughty boy, don't worry I've changed it'

My memory slowly coming back I went down stairs to see the following display

A * S * T * A R * D * B

Which was funny enough in itself, except they hadn't even noticed the lower shelf reading.

W * E * T * C * U * N * T

The display was left all weekend for all the boring conservative Cheltonian folk to see.

I love booze, it's so inspiring
(Wed 4th May 2005, 16:12, More)

» Strict Parents

I was banned from
fucking my sister up the arse. I still did though, I'd follow her home from school and jump her in the woods near our house. I told her if she told anyone I'd kill her kitten. Sometime she'd bleed so badly that she wouldn't go home for ages in case mum found out and I'd kill her kitten. She get beaten by my dad for being late. HA!

Anyway, she's a crack whore now. Happy Days!
(Thu 8th Mar 2007, 14:44, More)
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