b3ta.com user Waisted Fred
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Five fekkin years? I remember when this was all fields.


old these days


Neck in one piece though, thanks for asking. Most time spent on the links board, given a) a lack of potatoshopping talent and b) a general fear of /talkers. Which you can understand I'm sure.

Recent front page messages:


Best answers to questions:

» Mad Stuff You've Done To Get Someone To Sleep With You

The girl lives 60 miles away
which isn't that far, although she doesn't drive, so the emphasis is on me. Absolutely lovely, nicest most innocent person you'd ever want to meet, stunningly good looking and unlike 98% of fit birds, she doesn't even know it. She lives with her folks, any "personal" time together was really rather hard to come by.

I spend 18/ 19 months driving up & down A roads, I take her out to dinner, I spend hours listening to her whining about nothings, I put up with her weird friends... It takes forever to even be holding hands, and then *at last* a kiss. A very good one too. This develops, but nothing more.

Determination into overload, almost daily I drive 120 miles, the phone bill becomes extortionate, and finally, she wants to come and see me.

"Re-sult" I'm, thinking, "the end is nigh".

Alas no. She came to confess she was pregnant, and there are at least 3, possibly 4 candidates for Daddy. Only 2 of whom's names are known...
(Fri 13th Apr 2007, 17:43, More)

» Debt pron

I do mortgages
which in itself ain't very exciting, but I do meet a lot of people financial problems who really do put life into perspective, last week alone:

One guy, earns £36k (which is alright), car loan- 25k, unsecured loans £12k, credit cards, not joking, £80k. He wonders why I say to him "Please don't buy a house".

Lady, 29 years old, £65k on plastic. Just made redundant from £31k a year job.

21 year old, bungled a biz startup, going to be bankrupt in time for Xmas.

Best one thus far; guy, 22, girl 19, two loans, one is from Ford motor company (for the Focus RS) and the second "it's from Bupa" says the girl. "Oh, everything alright?" I ask, "yeah", says the guy, "six grand buys a fantastic pair of tits, don't you think?"
(Thu 23rd Nov 2006, 20:19, More)

» In the Army Now - The joy of the Armed Forces

So many stories...
So little patience at typing....

Where do I start:

Back of a Type 23, that's a ship (cue sniggering at the back- a Frigate in case you didn't know). Houses either a Lynx or Merlin Helicopter on the back.

There's a big hangar on the back for it to stay nice & warm & out the way.

To get it out the way you can't just "drive" it in, it sits on a complex system of pulleys & ropes which drag it under cover.

Some time ago a bright spark decided it would be ace to hide the ropes (health & safety and all), by putting a large plinth over all the pulleys & ropes.

Result- one much cleaner deck, safer in all weather, but I kid you not, no-one thought about the height of the helicopter.

Honestly (got pics on my phone), you have to let the helicopter's tyres down to get it in the hangar.........................

There's more, when time allows....
(Fri 24th Mar 2006, 0:53, More)

» Clients Are Stupid

All time classic was
Working in Network Support dept of a large civil service department in Bristol, call routed through,

User: "I've deleted the internet".

Need I say more ?
(Mon 29th Dec 2003, 22:41, More)

» Insults

One million sperm
and you won???
(Sat 6th Oct 2007, 14:39, More)
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