» People with Stupid Names

Too Many Names
My Mam is from a place in Ireland called Cavan
In cavan there are so many people with the surname McGovern that they stopped using it and as being good catholics they always named their children after saints there were too many people with Mary and John and Peter and so on. The phonebook is scary ten pages of John McGoverns. So now when they are talking about people they use their fathers and grandfathers names aswell

Goes kinda like this Mary Mickey Joe Pat Francis --- or Tom Pat Joe Jack John

Gives me a bloody headache listening to them
Sorry about the length.
(Tue 31st Aug 2004, 9:43, More)

» Foot in Mouth Syndrome

Time is a squeeler
I was just back from a year and a half living in the netherlands and I met this girl i used to go to school with, she was far from a stick insect, well she could have been the stick insect that had eaten all the other stick insects(all of them!) anyway i had heard that she was going to have a baby when i was away so as i was passing she said hello and asked how I'd been I said grand good time and me brain still a bit dull and all I asked her when you gonna pop the sprog and she answered that she had given birth to a little girl three weeks previous, after a suitably long and painfull silence I made no excuses and ran away ran away to the safety of a few more whiskeys.
(Wed 21st Apr 2004, 13:08, More)

» Have you ever been rude to a celebrity?

Not really being rude to a celeb more like the other way round
A buddy of mine was once doing a little daytime browsing in HMV on Grafton street in Dublin when he spots flea(The Chilli Peppers), doin a little covert shopping skulking around the rock section trying not to be noticed, so Tom picks up a Chilli's CD and goes over and asks for an autograph at which point flea promptly asks him(in an exceedingly unfriendly tone)to leave him alone that he is just trying to do a little bit of cd shopping. Now Tom doesn't take kindly to anyone being rude to him especially not an over inflated pop/rock/funk(what is that type of music anyway?) star so he runs out the door and starts roaring to all the lovely people on the street that flea is inside giving away free tickets to their upcomin gig ah! the horror!

(famous people be warned!)
(Thu 15th Apr 2004, 9:52, More)

» Singing the wrong words

A guy I shared a house with in college.....
..had tonnes of tunes that he sang his own words to but seeing as I was stoned and/or drunk for the majority of it I can only remember one of them

Sang to the tune of "You can't start A fire" -- the boss in a Navan accent(that info is useless unless you are from Ireland or know anyone with a Navan accent--Eg Tommy Tiernan, Hector)

Waking up in the morning
after a hard night out in Naas
I take a look in the mirror
and see the signs of a very knackered face

I can't start me tractor
I can't start me tractor without the key
this ones for hire
sure fuck it lads sure we'll never bale the hay.

there are about five more verses but...look above^
(Fri 28th Jan 2005, 8:42, More)

» Job Interviews

plastic tossers
I had applied for a job for a well known credit card supplier and after a few months had heard nothing back not even a letter or anything, so a friend of mine gave me the name of an agency that she said I could get a job with and that the same bank had a contract with them.

sure enough got an interview the next day and the day after I was in my job trying to sell credit cards to old age pensioners(this is because the credit bereaux lists them a good credit rating they've paid of a mortgate or two in their liftetime)

Suffice to say I didn't like it very much and after many latee days and about two sales in 3 months I was told not to come in when I rang in to say I'd be late one day and that they had decided I wasan't "(insert acronym name that isn't an acronym at all and actually stands for nothin here) People" the next day they rang me up to see if I would be interested in comin in for an interview for the same job in the same department and the same chair.plebs. 'told them to shove it somewhere.
(Wed 26th Jan 2005, 15:18, More)