Profile for PsychoticSock:
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- a member for 21 years, 0 months and 29 days
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- has posted 11 stories and 0 replies on question of the week
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» Well, that taught 'em
Fucking fisherman
I was on a lake in Paris with my girlfriend in a little rowing boat. It was my first time trying to row and so I wasn't too good at straight lines. Despite my best efforts I started splashing my way towards a group of fisherman who started to hurl a multitude of obscenities at me, chastising me for my lack of boating prowess. I (being a fluent French speaker) explain why I'm having trouble but the miserable sods keep yelling. I get pissed off and hurl my own obscenities back.
That wasn't enough. In fact, they really pissed me off.
My girlfriend and I get out on the bank a bit further round the lake to have lunch. The most incessantly noisy bastard scary crow I have ever seen in my life turned up to bug us for food during lunch. Then another arrived. Then another. Bloody loads of the things making a huge sodding noise.
I then proceeded to lure a crowd of about 50 irritating crows closer and closer to the fisherman with the baguette that we had for lunch... finishing with a huge handful of crumbs right over their quiet fishing spot. How I laughed as the enormous plague of cawing birds descended on the humourless bastards to disturb them more than my crappy rowing ever could.
Ah well, it taught them.
(Wed 2nd May 2007, 12:37, More)
Fucking fisherman
I was on a lake in Paris with my girlfriend in a little rowing boat. It was my first time trying to row and so I wasn't too good at straight lines. Despite my best efforts I started splashing my way towards a group of fisherman who started to hurl a multitude of obscenities at me, chastising me for my lack of boating prowess. I (being a fluent French speaker) explain why I'm having trouble but the miserable sods keep yelling. I get pissed off and hurl my own obscenities back.
That wasn't enough. In fact, they really pissed me off.
My girlfriend and I get out on the bank a bit further round the lake to have lunch. The most incessantly noisy bastard scary crow I have ever seen in my life turned up to bug us for food during lunch. Then another arrived. Then another. Bloody loads of the things making a huge sodding noise.
I then proceeded to lure a crowd of about 50 irritating crows closer and closer to the fisherman with the baguette that we had for lunch... finishing with a huge handful of crumbs right over their quiet fishing spot. How I laughed as the enormous plague of cawing birds descended on the humourless bastards to disturb them more than my crappy rowing ever could.
Ah well, it taught them.
(Wed 2nd May 2007, 12:37, More)
» Foot in Mouth Syndrome
Oh, and another thing that
my mate Frank did. We were walking down Gloucester Road in Bristol and popped into Somerfield to get a sandwich. I got served first and waited outside for Frank. He came out clutching awkwardly at his sandwich, receipt and change, which he was trying to put back into his wallet. A couple of paces further on, a homeless guy asked us if we could spare any change and Frank said "No, Sorry" in a loud and friendly manner. Two steps later, his wallet burst open causing the most enormous sparkling shower of loose change to fly everywhere, all over the pavement in front of the homeless bloke. We picked up the staggeringly large amount of change which he'd spilt right under the poor guy's nose. To be fair to Frank, he did give the guy some change, and told him "God's obviously punishing me for something"
(Tue 20th Apr 2004, 23:47, More)
Oh, and another thing that
my mate Frank did. We were walking down Gloucester Road in Bristol and popped into Somerfield to get a sandwich. I got served first and waited outside for Frank. He came out clutching awkwardly at his sandwich, receipt and change, which he was trying to put back into his wallet. A couple of paces further on, a homeless guy asked us if we could spare any change and Frank said "No, Sorry" in a loud and friendly manner. Two steps later, his wallet burst open causing the most enormous sparkling shower of loose change to fly everywhere, all over the pavement in front of the homeless bloke. We picked up the staggeringly large amount of change which he'd spilt right under the poor guy's nose. To be fair to Frank, he did give the guy some change, and told him "God's obviously punishing me for something"
(Tue 20th Apr 2004, 23:47, More)
» Impromptu Games You Play
A Brian Blessed drinking game...
Afterdownloading legally obtaining Macgyver: The Lost Treasure of Atlantis starring the great B himself we decided to drink every time he got excited.
Completely Shitfaced in 20 mins.
(Mon 29th Mar 2004, 18:18, More)
A Brian Blessed drinking game...
After
Completely Shitfaced in 20 mins.
(Mon 29th Mar 2004, 18:18, More)
» World's Sickest Joke
Ashamed to say this is mine...
Q. How many Jews does it take to fit a shower?
A. We don't know yet, they kept going in but none of them came out.
(Thu 29th Dec 2005, 23:40, More)
Ashamed to say this is mine...
Q. How many Jews does it take to fit a shower?
A. We don't know yet, they kept going in but none of them came out.
(Thu 29th Dec 2005, 23:40, More)