b3ta.com user hieronymus bosch
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Profile for hieronymus bosch:
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Resident Stewart Lee sympathizer

Proud member of the Rashida Jones fan club

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Best answers to questions:

» Other people's diaries

i've never read anyone's diary
now fuck off
(Sun 4th Feb 2007, 13:28, More)

» Schadenfreude

(Fri 18th Dec 2009, 22:03, More)

» Halloween

I just used latex gloves to masturbate.
I don't know why I bought them but it seemed like the natural thing to do with them. It wasn't great. They occassionally pulled at my pubic hair. I would guess this was because they have more friction than skin. I once saw a voyeur porn video of someone lacking motor skills getting pulled off by a nurse wearing similar gloves. While I enjoyed the video I couldn't simultaneously roleplay as the nurse and the spastic so it was difficult to fantasize about.

My scariest halloween memory was last halloween. My doorbell rang and a little girl awaited me. I had forgotten all about halloween and was confused for a moment. I had to tell her I didn't have anything for her. Her mother was hanging back and called out her, there was anxiety in her voice. The scary part was realising that I'd just killed a little bit of the magic in the child's life and that her mother might have seen me as a potential threat.
(Wed 28th Oct 2015, 18:46, More)

» I Quit!

on the day of my AS-level exams I couldn't really be bothered to try so i just messed them up, U's all around.

Did them again somewhere else got decent results. i then went on a year later to fuck up all my A-level exams.

Third time around I lasted about a month before quiting.

decided i would play poker for money (as i couldnt go to university) made some thousands started to play badly and had terrible luck, which then became a sort of negative suggestion, vicious cycle type affair. I then obviously decided to quit.

I've since realised that I'm somewhat schizoidal (hence the name) which, to some degree, justifies my belief that i really wouldn't enjoy university or work, as well as providing an excuse for my laziness.

nothing particularly funny here but i do believe i am one of the biggest quitters here. i dont get bored doing nothing, i dont really want to have sex (i'm not asexual, i wank) or know people, meet people, make money, learn things, be better then anyone at anything, eat, be complimented. I neither enjoy nor dislike most things. I don't avoid people or find their company disagreeagble (not without reason atleast) i just dont have any great desires towards them, save for extremely rare occasions or people. Arsenal is about the only thing i have a great interest in and yet i've never bothered to go to the Emirates. I'm at a loose end and it doesn't really bother me.

To be honest im attractive enough, smart enough (just enough mind you *) and socially capable... enough to achieve something of some value but in truth what's far more important is having bizarre compulsions towards; fucking (despite the fact that coming isnt that great), making money (despite the fact that you can't buy anything of any use, bar food), living somewhere big so you can have tossers for neighbours, getting compliments dispite the fact that they're contrived and you have no control over how pretty your face is, being with people dispite the fact that everyone is always slightly guarded and ultimately rationalise everything in a bizarre way completely contrary to your own wrong rationalisations.

to summerise, you won't find many people who quit more then me.

* you have to feign modesty nowadays otherwise everyone thinks you're a cunt.
(Sat 24th May 2008, 21:36, More)

» Things you can't unsee...

I can't think of anything relevant to write on this subject.

(Sat 28th Feb 2015, 1:50, More)
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