b3ta.com user Mr. Ploppy
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» Ripped Off

Flying North West Airlines.....
Had a month long holiday with the ex back in 1999. We lived in Hong Kong and decided to do a huge trip over to New York for New Years Eve via Tokyo, Hawaii and Minneapolis/St Paul then on to Vancouver for two weeks ski-ing.

Every bloody flight was cancelled or delayed during the entire trip. On the final return leg upon arriving back in Minneapollis they announced the cancellation of the flight to Tokyo- so I quite rightly demanded a decent hotel to sleep in (having felt completely ripped off for the cost of the flight). I also demanded they pay for my food and drink- after a bit of an argument they relented (the fools!).

Forward my walking into the hotel bar and saying 'Drinks are on me' to the entire place.

$800 odd bucks later I went to bed. They weren't too impressed in the morning, serves them right for being such a shit airline.

Girth? Pah!
(Thu 15th Feb 2007, 17:55, More)

» Restaurants, Kitchens and Bars... Oh my!

Working in the Covent Garden area...
Was head bartender in an establishment on the Strand back in the early 90's. Anyway, twas a fellow workers birthday booze up down the Roadhouse (fucking shithole) with staff from numerous establishments making it down for the cheap happy hour beers, before going on to Los Locos (another shithole) to pick up any available females. Unfortunately Tony, our erstwhile Northern Irish bartender had to work, and wasn't particularly happy about this. Cue his calling one of the tabliod rags with a bomb threat (making up a password, think it was girraffe or something similarly inane). 1 hour later Tony's down the pub- the Strand is closed, both the Savoy and the Strand Palace are evacuated- along with every bar and shop from Charing X up to Aldwych. Probably cost the area a fucking fortune, but hey we all had a good night, and if memory serves Tony shagged one of the receptionists from the Savoy- so it all worked out fine.

Apologies for length- its genetic.
(Fri 21st Jul 2006, 11:47, More)

» I just don't get it

Gay fashion designers....
I mean WTF? Gay men telling women what's sexy? They don't want to shag you, so how the buggery would they know what's attractive on a woman. Same goes for hair dressers. Its thanks to these numpties we've had to put up with birds thinking feather boa's are quite enticing, and having no tits is actually really attractive.

Creation Science- I mean, really, they're not that thick surely?

Women- While you line up to pay for your shopping, at least get your purse out of your bag. Its not difficult- you're going to have to do it at some point, why wait until the cashier has told you the amount before searching in the grotty depths of your handbag to find your purse, and then pull out 137 friggin' credit cards before deciding that you'll pay cash. In coins to. the. exact. penny...

Anyone standing at a bar, ordering drinks one at a time. Tell the frigging bartender the whole order in one go- they're not that dense.

Fat people who complain that they should not have to pay for two seats on a plane- look, you're fat, therefore you use more fuel to cart your lardy arse on any journey, which means the price of a ticket goes up. You get a free ride on busses, so should shut your traps- in fact if you did a bit more of that you wouldn't be so bloody fat in the first place. Why should we normal people pay extra for you to indulge yourselves.

Rant over.
(Sat 2nd Apr 2005, 22:49, More)

» When animals attack...

Dragonfly of death...
About 15 years ago I went on a drunken shagfest in Turkey with a couple of mates. Deciding that perhaps we should do something more cultivated than drinking Tuborg and trying to get our leg over inebriated european lasses we booked a trip to see some sunken Roman ruins. Fast forward to my leading a line of people along the top of an ancient wall, water either side with everyone commenting how pretty the submerged mosaics were when suddenly a fucking GIANT dragonfly- I'm talking Jurrassic Park big- decided to hover about 3 inches from my face. I practically shat my pants, not being a fan of anything with more than 4 legs (well its not natural is it?), unable to move forward while being prodded in the back by some fat German telling me to get a move on in the polite way that the SS would back in Aushwitz, I decided that the only option was to jump in the water and let the enlarged Kraut deal with the fucking thing. Unfortunately the line had got quite bunched together, cue 4 or 5 middle aged camera laden Tuetonic types going for a nice cool dip along with me.
The monster, having done its job, flew off with a speed only dragonflys can muster- hence nobody saw the fucker.
They were all staying at our hotel....

Apologies for length, girth etc..
(Thu 2nd Jun 2005, 12:27, More)

» Stupid Tourists

Geography not a strong point.
Standing outside 'The Wellington' accross from Waterloo Bridge, cue middle aged American couple asking me where they fought the battle. Had to say 'from here all the way up to Tower Bridge, the ships couldn't turn'.

I should have went on about how the massive land battle of Trafalgar occurred just up the road.
(Thu 7th Jul 2005, 18:25, More)
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