» Terrible Parenting

Bad parenting or honest mistake
...you decide. This past Xmas visiting the parents with the kids. My 4 year old develops some redness around his bum hole after a bout of diarrhea. The Wife grabs the tube of zinc oxide A&D ointment and slathers him up.

Moments later he's screaming bloody murder "It BURNS! IT BURNS!"

The Wife is screaming at him..."If you dont stop carrying on...NO PRESENTS FROM SANTA!!"

I'm like, "Stop being such a pussy son, its only some nappy cream...."

well actually it was mint toothpaste..

The Wife never reads lables...
(Sat 18th Aug 2007, 21:45, More)

» Inappropriate crushes

So I'm a freshman at University...
and have a huge crush on a girl living across the dorm hall from a friend. She's an upperclassman. Beautiful. Friday afternoons we can buy up items in the cafeteria in bulk to use up the cash on our weekly meal cards. So I'm on line with my friend and the object of my affections queues up behind me with her room mate. I'm thinking and thinking of something to say, my friend is encouraging me to do something ANYTHING. Now its my turn to place my order. "One case of Yoo-Hoo please." and then the sweet sound of her voice behind me in hushed tones to her friend "Yoo-Hoo? What a dork...."

If I had only ordered some TAB, maybe she would have seen me in a different light...
(Fri 29th Sep 2006, 14:04, More)

» Karma

We just recently moved into our new house
and I'm a little bit nuts about keeping everything just so. The Wife can be a bit clumsy at times and sure enough
she recently chipped a plate after dinner while rinsing it prior to loading it in the dishwasher.

She felt bad. I was furious. And while I didn't call her a clumsy fucking cow
who I should never have gotten involved with let alone get married to because God knows you are
passing those careless, simian handed genes onto our fucking children, thank you very much... that is
exactly what was running though my mind.

I am silent yet my body language is screaming "Out of the way before you fuck something else" As I offer to finish up

I pick up a glass, rinse it and promptly shatter it on the side of the sink as I make the move to put it in the dishwasher...

Fuck...
(Fri 22nd Feb 2008, 15:03, More)

» Inappropriate crushes

another thing comes to mind...
I really have a thing for girls working in bakeries, must be something about the mussed up hair and bedroom eyes after kneading dough since 4:30 AM. They all seem so healthy. 90% of them are really cute and full bossomed, no doubt from the odd slice of cake they must pilfer now and again. That and they smell like doughnuts. Which is always a plus.
(Mon 2nd Oct 2006, 20:37, More)

» Childhood bad taste

Where were my parents to guide me?
In my teens, what I considered a way cool haircut was a "bi-level" affair.
I was in a band that played punk rock dance music and I was super hip with my doo and polka dot tee shirts loaded with safety pins.

I just dont know how I will explain the whole mullet thing to my kids when they inevitably find the photos at grandma's house.
(Tue 14th Dec 2004, 16:04, More)