b3ta.com user munkt0n
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Profile for munkt0n:
Profile Info:

I am a moose without wings, I glide silently through the streets of Manchester on a vacuum cleaner made of frosted glass, I deliver milk to house-bound spinsters, I take away the used bandages from the battlefields near the great tree planted by my fore fathers, I descend upon goats and replace their feet with pipe-cleaners. I manufacture porcelain spaniels for the domestic market, I once destroyed an entire stretch of the M3 with a single flick of my anus.

Interests & Hobbies:
scaling vertical walls with only the aid of a bottle of washing up liquid.
freestyle cardigan spinning.
allowing the excess steam from a dry cleaners to seep into my house to create an unpleasant odour, and stain the wallpaper if I'm lucky.

I like:
the b side of "making your mind up" by Bucks Fizz.
Eddie Stobart's ear ring collection.
the Southampton Municipal golf course.
certain parts of the cisteen chapel.

Recent front page messages:

behold! the power of cheese

(Fri 27th Aug 2004, 16:31, More)

captains log,

stardate 1985 -
a curiously camp englishman has assigned
me to missions involving a talking car
(Thu 29th Jan 2004, 15:34, More)

it's time to get down with Jesus!

(Tue 16th Dec 2003, 22:55, More)

(Thu 18th Sep 2003, 20:43, More)

dung dung dung, dung dee dung, dung dee dung

thanks to justhere for beardy wisdom
no tie version

(Tue 29th Jul 2003, 19:55, More)

this is Shimble, he's from Patagonia

(Sun 27th Jul 2003, 18:24, More)


[ed] yay! 50th front page appearance!
/does the hustle
(Tue 22nd Jul 2003, 19:04, More)

(Sun 20th Jul 2003, 20:41, More)

kevin costner directs - dances with davros

(Fri 18th Jul 2003, 0:20, More)

montoogan! eechee k'narr djor kjkar

(Fri 4th Jul 2003, 21:09, More)

moshi moshi!

(Fri 4th Jul 2003, 9:52, More)

meet Pablo, he loves you

click for full on nappy action
(Sun 25th May 2003, 23:22, More)

it crawled up the plughole

I'm going to call it pluggy
(Thu 22nd May 2003, 0:47, More)

yeah man..

(Sun 11th May 2003, 11:43, More)

in my day...blah blah....all fields etc..blah

(Sat 10th May 2003, 20:12, More)


(Sun 4th May 2003, 3:04, More)

this lion won't sleep tonight

(Sun 4th May 2003, 0:37, More)

gob transplant

(Thu 1st May 2003, 0:53, More)

don't forget my sweets daddy!

(Mon 28th Apr 2003, 21:09, More)

sunday delivery

(Sun 27th Apr 2003, 12:02, More)

bananas were cheaper in my day

(Sat 26th Apr 2003, 19:12, More)


(Fri 25th Apr 2003, 9:05, More)

(Wed 16th Apr 2003, 9:42, More)

Pierced Brosnan

(Wed 26th Mar 2003, 11:34, More)

they've had enough

(Fri 21st Mar 2003, 19:30, More)

look out for robot marmots

(Fri 28th Feb 2003, 20:06, More)


(Tue 11th Feb 2003, 17:00, More)

shtop! thish elevator ish rubbish!

(Sat 1st Feb 2003, 23:47, More)

cockney badger knees-up

(Tue 24th Dec 2002, 17:07, More)

what do we want?

when do we want it?
(Wed 11th Dec 2002, 1:39, More)

being a bouncy castle salesman is fun

(Thu 5th Dec 2002, 21:03, More)

(Wed 13th Nov 2002, 10:21, More)

I don't know about you, but I'd be scared

(Fri 8th Nov 2002, 13:48, More)

the bloke at the aquarium

said it would help to keep the tank clean
(Wed 6th Nov 2002, 20:59, More)

"what's that skippy?"

"'Fight the Power!?'"
(Tue 5th Nov 2002, 21:46, More)

the 1998 kung fu masterclass

(Tue 5th Nov 2002, 12:41, More)

Bellamy, we don't see enough of him these days...

(Mon 4th Nov 2002, 15:38, More)

morning all, I got a lift to work in one of these today

(Mon 21st Oct 2002, 9:44, More)

listen to the llama

smoking is cool
(Tue 15th Oct 2002, 12:02, More)

*bleep* *whir*
hosted on crappy server, max 10 connections
(Sat 5th Oct 2002, 21:17, More)

(Fri 4th Oct 2002, 15:50, More)

they're here...

(Wed 25th Sep 2002, 12:27, More)

how's he supposed to get changed now?

(Tue 24th Sep 2002, 14:01, More)

do you like my new chest freezer?

(Thu 19th Sep 2002, 20:31, More)

it's a bit big

..but you can get pie digital on it
(Tue 17th Sep 2002, 9:36, More)

climbing the north face of the #29

(Sat 14th Sep 2002, 14:37, More)

look, he's defying logic!

see what I mean, I've got 2 days to do 3 weeks worth of work, and I still can't force myself to close my browser
(Thu 12th Sep 2002, 9:25, More)

Susan and her son sometimes wondered how they kept from goin' under

(Fri 23rd Aug 2002, 13:06, More)

I'm 28 and still play with lego

(Mon 12th Aug 2002, 18:53, More)

the molested water buffalo
49Kb, best I could do guvnah, if this doesn't load, it's because my webserver sux. try again in a minute
(Tue 6th Aug 2002, 19:58, More)

multicolour bot shop
please excuse my piss poor web server, upgrade coming soon
(Tue 6th Aug 2002, 18:41, More)

I'll wait another 5 minutes then I'm calling a cab

(Thu 25th Jul 2002, 18:53, More)

summoning the quo

don't meddle with the dark arts old man
(Fri 19th Jul 2002, 10:49, More)

up yours

gold robot
(Mon 24th Jun 2002, 11:17, More)

so that's where pete's been hiding

in Dot Cotton's hand crafted handbag
(Fri 14th Jun 2002, 13:22, More)

I'm addicted you bastards!

..and fnord has shown me the kit.

real kittens + digicam + b3ta = lack of real work
(Thu 6th Jun 2002, 12:25, More)

Best answers to questions:

» Singing the wrong words

[witty title]
[something stolen from kissthisguy.com]
(Thu 27th Jan 2005, 13:35, More)

» Obscure Memorabilia

I have Christopher Reeves
puncture repair kit
(Sat 6th Nov 2004, 11:27, More)

» Happy 10th Birthday B3ta

I met my future wife on here, and also met a whole load of lovely people.
A mate of mine introduced me, something along the lines of "check this site out, it's fucking mental", he only made the one post, which made it to the front page, the bastard
(Mon 12th Sep 2011, 10:40, More)

» Pet Names

I had 3 mice
when I was 17 and still living at home.
I named them Lucifer, Sigmund & Dalek
after my favourite hallucinogen
(Thu 26th Feb 2004, 13:57, More)

» Clients Are Stupid

hmmm, quite boring, but..
a client was complaining that their intranet apps weren't working properly.
it turned out they were double-clicking links, forcing the page to load twice and screwing up the javascript
(Sun 28th Dec 2003, 22:56, More)
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