b3ta.com user brazzin
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Hello everybody. My name is Richard Ascot-Sinclair Jr, I live in Aotearoa, and I lurk here at b3ta.

apologies for stuff i posted 10+ years ago, it's incredibly awkward and unfunny

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Best answers to questions:

» Teenage Crushes - Part Two

I fapped over the middle one from that band Hanson once
I'd still do her now, come to think of it
(Thu 5th Nov 2009, 12:50, More)

» It's not me, it's the drugs talking

Once, drunk, I improvised and recorded a song
called "Fuck shit fuck fuck shit fuck".

The words went something along the lines of: "I met a girl who was crazy about me, she had long blond hair and blue eyes, but she also had tourette's syndrome. She didn't know anyone but fuck shit, she had a fuck shit car and a fuck shit house, and she lived on fuck shit street. She was a fuck wit in her own self-proclaimed words, she liked to fuck shit fuck shit fuck, but that was alright with me - that was alright with me. Hahahaha."

Of course, while still considerably drunk I MSN'd it to one of my friends, who thought it would be funny to leak it onto the internet. I stuck my name on the id3 tag. Somehow it made its way onto the UC intranet (University of Canterbury, Christchurch, New Zealand), and now it's quite freely downloadable from most reputable DC++ hubs. I discovered this about two months after drunkenly dismissing it as gone forever, when a friend who wasn't even aware I could play guitar started singing it one lunch time. I veritably shook with rage. Actually I didn't.

But, of course, you'll want to listen to it so who am I to stop you? Save yourself the search.

Spose 'alcohol' isn't strictly 'drugs' though, meh, I have a very long penis.
(Sat 17th Dec 2005, 10:49, More)

» Now, there was no need for that...

My dad is a knob.
My Peruvian-born, German-adopted and brought up friend, who happens to be on an exchange trip here in New Zealand, was around for a jam one night a couple of weeks ago. We both play electric guitar so it was only logic that we should get together and put together some sort of band. Anyway, we stopped for dinner, I checked my emails, he checked his, and for some reason dad decided he'd prove his shit guitar playing skills by picking up the classical guitar and strumming. Dad picking up a guitar is a reasonably rare event, thankfully so.

Anyway, as if playing the guitar in front of my friend wasn't bad enough (and it was bad), he started singing.

"I'm nobody's child, I'm nobody's child, I'm like a flower, I'm growing wild - No daddy's kisses and no mummy's smiles, nobody wants me, I'm nobody's child.

I shrunk a bit and hid in the corner. No dad, my friend isn't adopted. He isn't a red-fucking-indian with a German accent.

Ah well, I don't think he was listening.
(Fri 17th Jun 2005, 7:10, More)

» When were you last really scared?

Last time I was truly scared
was about two nights ago.

My flatmate bailed me up in the kitchen with his guitar, singing Ronan Keating's 'When You Say Nothing At All' to me. Meaningfully. Eye contact and all. It was one of the finer homosexual moments we have had in that kitchen.

I nearly shat myself.
(Sun 25th Feb 2007, 9:33, More)

» Workplace Boredom

Dear Photos.com,
I writing to express my utmost disgust in discrimination and racial slurs I have noticed in your service.

Recently, while searching for pictures to accompany an article I was preparing on the ravages of the HIV virus, I searched for the term 'AIDS'. The second image returned in the results was of a blind black man, walking with a cane. I have attached a "screen shot" of this search.

Because the subject of the photo is a negro with sunglasses, and he is walking with a cane, does not mean that he has been blinded by complications of AIDS, is blind, or has AIDS at all. To imply a black man has AIDS because he is blind is an offensive and ignorant gesture.

While one may reasonably argue that being black does indeed increase your chances of having AIDS (and that the majority of blacks have HIV), I feel it would not in any situation be appropriate to be selling this picture under such pretenses.

I would recommend, in light of this issue, to remove this offending picture from the search results.

As an interesting side-note, no references to AIDS (or in fact any results at all) are returned when searching for 'Nigger'. I feel, if this is not human error, that your search engine should be improved.

Yours Sincerely
Richard Charles William Bruce Ascot-Sinclar Jr


I'm a graphic designer, and pissing around searching for offensive terms on photos.com is a good way to look busy. I wrote this email to them at work today, pretending I was emailing a client in Outlook.

(Wed 14th Jan 2009, 9:03, More)
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