b3ta.com user BeAst -
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In suitably bad lighting.

Here I am as rendered by devil duck

and Darksideofthespoon

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» Old People Talk Bollocks

My dear old Gran
didn't get a colour TV until the mid 80's. She believed the technology hadn't been perfected and the colour could be *dangerous*.
(Thu 11th Mar 2004, 13:55, More)

» Accidental innuendo

Madone's has reminded me of one
I was out with a young lady of my aquaintance, when an elderly Mancunian gentleman passed us by, barely in control of his frankly fucking huge Alsatian. The young lady shied away from the mutt, but the gentleman attempted to reassure me of the animal's placid nature:

"Its alright, he won't bite yer, cock" *

To which my response was the only logical one available:

"What about the rest of me?"

*Some elderly Lancastrians use cock, or cocker as a form of address. Much hilarity results from them asking: "Have you got the time on yer, cock?"
"No, but I've got a calendar on my arse" etc.
(Thu 12th Jun 2008, 14:21, More)