» Embarrassing Injuries

New Knee
I was 12 when Charles & Di got married, and was bored witless watching the run-up to the ceremony - so I took my bike up to the local pond and started doing circuits and jumps around the banks.

At one point though, my front wheel hit a feeder stream ditch, and it was a perfect fit; the bike stopped dead, and I shot forward at high speed. In those days, bike lights were often bolted on to brackets on the front fork of the bike, and my knee when straight into the bolts, shattered and was partially torn out as is flipped over the handle bar to land on the sandy 'beach' of the pond, stunned.

Eventually some nice people found me, 'cleaned' me up with the fetid pond water - thereby shortening my life by 20 years - and took me home with a plaster over this gaping would with shards of bone sticking out of it.

Mum did a fit and took me straight to hospital where, with perfect timing, I was able to interrupt all the hospital staff who were watching Charles & Di take their vows. I'm sure they took it out on me with all those damn needles afterwards, though...

(Apologies for long story)
(Tue 7th Sep 2004, 15:00, More)