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- a member for 20 years, 8 months and 17 days
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» Lies Your Parents Told You
lets go fly a .......bmw :-\
When my parents divorced my father moved to Cape Town and every so often I would go and visit Dad....being around about 8/10 I was pretty young and ...gullible.
My father drove a brand new 535i BMW and on the dash it had a *magic* button. The fcuker told me that once this *magic* button was pressed invisible wings started extending out of the undercarriage of the car, in preparation for flight. However we never got to test this properly as lamp posts, post boxes and the like could have damaged the invisible wings.
I returned to Johannesburg and one morning in a friends parents car, with all my chums around, proudly stated that my fathers car could fly. I was drowned in laughter and am still taunted to this day.
I believed him; I had no reason to believe he would lie....why would anyone lie?
Bless the workings of a young un's mind.
(^-^)
If you're curious....it was the air conditioning button which lit up in blue...unlike the rest of the 'normal' buttons.
(Wed 14th Jan 2004, 14:56, More)
lets go fly a .......bmw :-\
When my parents divorced my father moved to Cape Town and every so often I would go and visit Dad....being around about 8/10 I was pretty young and ...gullible.
My father drove a brand new 535i BMW and on the dash it had a *magic* button. The fcuker told me that once this *magic* button was pressed invisible wings started extending out of the undercarriage of the car, in preparation for flight. However we never got to test this properly as lamp posts, post boxes and the like could have damaged the invisible wings.
I returned to Johannesburg and one morning in a friends parents car, with all my chums around, proudly stated that my fathers car could fly. I was drowned in laughter and am still taunted to this day.
I believed him; I had no reason to believe he would lie....why would anyone lie?
Bless the workings of a young un's mind.
(^-^)
If you're curious....it was the air conditioning button which lit up in blue...unlike the rest of the 'normal' buttons.
(Wed 14th Jan 2004, 14:56, More)
» It's not me, it's the drugs talking
Trollyhead
I remember being so out of it I forgot my sexuality. Hmmm.
(Mon 19th Dec 2005, 15:01, More)
Trollyhead
I remember being so out of it I forgot my sexuality. Hmmm.
(Mon 19th Dec 2005, 15:01, More)
» Now, there was no need for that...
Oh nooooo
In the heady days of money and cocaine (neither of which I have now) mates and I where having a jolly at a reputable private members club in Soho. Alas I had no marching powder, so a said chum kindly offered that he would leave a line out in the rather sanzy loos. Que my turn, I totter off to the lav, pretty hazy on absinthe martinis, and enter the cubicle. Sure enuf their is a small square of toilet paper on the marble recess in the wall. I roll, bend over, insert head into recess to commence hovering when the truth dawns:
Not a recess, but a hand dryer well.
It looked like I had been trying to make pasta in that loo.
Hey-ho
(Fri 17th Jun 2005, 16:59, More)
Oh nooooo
In the heady days of money and cocaine (neither of which I have now) mates and I where having a jolly at a reputable private members club in Soho. Alas I had no marching powder, so a said chum kindly offered that he would leave a line out in the rather sanzy loos. Que my turn, I totter off to the lav, pretty hazy on absinthe martinis, and enter the cubicle. Sure enuf their is a small square of toilet paper on the marble recess in the wall. I roll, bend over, insert head into recess to commence hovering when the truth dawns:
Not a recess, but a hand dryer well.
It looked like I had been trying to make pasta in that loo.
Hey-ho
(Fri 17th Jun 2005, 16:59, More)
» Embarrassing Injuries
Duh!
Around the age of 10/13 I was messing around in the bush outside the houses in our neighbourhood in South Africa.
We where throwing stones and shit around like you do at that age and I decided to throw a brick into one of the thickets of reeds near the river.
Unbeknownst to me there was a wire fence which had partially fallen over, and was concealed by the reeds.
Picture my expression as said brick which has just left my clutches on an outbound trajectory returns almost immediately from whence it came.
Aaaaargh!
It cracked my skull and we had to stagger back to the house with my bleeding like a fucking B-horror movie victim.
(Tue 7th Sep 2004, 14:03, More)
Duh!
Around the age of 10/13 I was messing around in the bush outside the houses in our neighbourhood in South Africa.
We where throwing stones and shit around like you do at that age and I decided to throw a brick into one of the thickets of reeds near the river.
Unbeknownst to me there was a wire fence which had partially fallen over, and was concealed by the reeds.
Picture my expression as said brick which has just left my clutches on an outbound trajectory returns almost immediately from whence it came.
Aaaaargh!
It cracked my skull and we had to stagger back to the house with my bleeding like a fucking B-horror movie victim.
(Tue 7th Sep 2004, 14:03, More)
» World's Most Hated Food
Orrible Nasty Things
Shrooms.....the fucking bane of my life. I mean who in their right mind EATS a fungus?
THe texture, the taste, the look...everything.
Shitake, brown cap,oyster mushrooms - the lot can fuck right back to the manure filled underground hovel from whence they came.
FYI : I take my magic mushrooms with cranberry juice...it makes it almost bearable *grin*
(Wed 14th Jul 2004, 16:54, More)
Orrible Nasty Things
Shrooms.....the fucking bane of my life. I mean who in their right mind EATS a fungus?
THe texture, the taste, the look...everything.
Shitake, brown cap,oyster mushrooms - the lot can fuck right back to the manure filled underground hovel from whence they came.
FYI : I take my magic mushrooms with cranberry juice...it makes it almost bearable *grin*
(Wed 14th Jul 2004, 16:54, More)