b3ta.com user ~Sunny~
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» I was drunk when I bought this

3 crates of mozzarella
(Thu 9th Jun 2005, 18:21, More)

» Singing the wrong words

I thought drugs were only good in fairy tales
Highs for someone else but not for me
What's the point in buying
A load of Mary Jane
When I wanted the munchies, I stayed sane

Then I tried cocaine
Now I'm a crack dealer
Not a trace of dope in my joint
Now I'm high (oooooooh) I'm a crack dealer, I couldn't leave her if I tried.

That's all.
(Thu 27th Jan 2005, 20:31, More)

» Shoddy Presents

My uncle
Gave me a packet of out-of-date pasta for christmas.

For my birthday he gave me a framed postcard of a duck.

I gave him champagne for his next birthday, and with a biro I wrote "FUCK YOU TIGHTARSE" in tiny letters on the label. That showed him.
(Fri 24th Sep 2004, 18:30, More)

» Irrational Fears

Wrong. The most wrong part of the body. So complex, so delicate, so slimy - the slightest dust speck sets them off in agony. Also the phrase "keep your eyes peeled".... NO. WRONG. So soft, so jellylike, so exposed..... you can so easily sink a razor into them and be blinded. And eyelashes and suchlike floating in them.... and getting bugs drowning in them....

I live in daily terror of something happening to my eyes. Why can't you see out of your cheeks? Would be soo much less hassle.

Also, as a small child, I used to be terrified of spiders creeping up from the bottom of my bed and eating my toes. To this day (at the wise old age of 15) I sleep with my duvet folded over my feet.
(Tue 27th Jan 2004, 19:12, More)

» I'm an expert

Pop Tart Cuisine
Too long in the toaster, they burn and go dark brown and disgusting

Too short and the filling is still solid.

Three minutes is genuine perfect cooking time, and then you remove from the toaster with oven gloves on and eat IMMEDIATELY.

(Tue 28th Jun 2005, 19:07, More)
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