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- a member for 21 years, 3 months and 5 days
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» World's Sickest Joke
apologies for the length.
It was early may and Timmy had been working with the blind people again, today's trip was a day out to the zoo.
On the way back everyone had said what a lovely time they'd all had, and to round off the evening Timmy thought
it would be nice to have a quick pint in the picturesque pub they we about to pass. Timmy drove the bus into the
car park and told everyone to get out, he had a special football in the back of the bus he thought he'd get it out
as this would keep everyone quite whilst he enjoyed he cold pint of lager. He got the group together on the grass
to the front of the pub gave them the ball and explained this was a special ball with bells in, all they had to do
was to listen out for the bells and kick it.
Timmy entered the pub and ordered a cold pint of lager from the stunning bar maid, he was drinking the pint trying
to chat up the barmaid when someone burst in screaming "THERE IS A BUNCH OF ANIMALS OUTSIDE!", Timmy says "Animals?
I have a group of blind people outside, I hope you are not referring to them" the man replies "They are animals,
they're outside the front of the pub kicking the shit out of the Morris dancers!"
(Wed 7th Dec 2005, 16:53, More)
apologies for the length.
It was early may and Timmy had been working with the blind people again, today's trip was a day out to the zoo.
On the way back everyone had said what a lovely time they'd all had, and to round off the evening Timmy thought
it would be nice to have a quick pint in the picturesque pub they we about to pass. Timmy drove the bus into the
car park and told everyone to get out, he had a special football in the back of the bus he thought he'd get it out
as this would keep everyone quite whilst he enjoyed he cold pint of lager. He got the group together on the grass
to the front of the pub gave them the ball and explained this was a special ball with bells in, all they had to do
was to listen out for the bells and kick it.
Timmy entered the pub and ordered a cold pint of lager from the stunning bar maid, he was drinking the pint trying
to chat up the barmaid when someone burst in screaming "THERE IS A BUNCH OF ANIMALS OUTSIDE!", Timmy says "Animals?
I have a group of blind people outside, I hope you are not referring to them" the man replies "They are animals,
they're outside the front of the pub kicking the shit out of the Morris dancers!"
(Wed 7th Dec 2005, 16:53, More)
» World's Sickest Joke
Ireland's worst air disaster
a two seater cessna airplane crashed into a grave yard, they've recovered 500 bodies already, digging is set to go through the night.
(Thu 8th Dec 2005, 16:40, More)
Ireland's worst air disaster
a two seater cessna airplane crashed into a grave yard, they've recovered 500 bodies already, digging is set to go through the night.
(Thu 8th Dec 2005, 16:40, More)
» World's Sickest Joke
hopefully virginal to this qotw.
A polar bear decides to go to the beach as it is a nice sunny day,
after driving for a few hours he almost arrives at his destination
then he notices that the oil pressure on his car has started to drop,
luckily he noticed he had just driven past a garage so he turns
the car round and pulls in, he tells the mechanic the problem, the
mechanic tells the polar bear to go off for an hour or so and then come
back as he should then know what the problem is. So the polar bear
decides to go for a walk down the beach, an hour later the polar bear
returns to the garage and find the guy looking at his car, the mechanic
says "Looks like you've blown a seal" to which the polar bear says
"No I've just eaten an Ice cream".
(Fri 9th Dec 2005, 11:08, More)
hopefully virginal to this qotw.
A polar bear decides to go to the beach as it is a nice sunny day,
after driving for a few hours he almost arrives at his destination
then he notices that the oil pressure on his car has started to drop,
luckily he noticed he had just driven past a garage so he turns
the car round and pulls in, he tells the mechanic the problem, the
mechanic tells the polar bear to go off for an hour or so and then come
back as he should then know what the problem is. So the polar bear
decides to go for a walk down the beach, an hour later the polar bear
returns to the garage and find the guy looking at his car, the mechanic
says "Looks like you've blown a seal" to which the polar bear says
"No I've just eaten an Ice cream".
(Fri 9th Dec 2005, 11:08, More)
» World's Sickest Joke
Hobbs went into a butchers, pondered upon what he fancied then asked the butcher for 1lb of salami, the butcher takes the salami, weighs is, then takes it to the slicing machine. Hobbs shouts "WOW WOW WOW buddy hold on a minute, what do you think I am a fucking slot machine?"
(Thu 8th Dec 2005, 16:31, More)
Hobbs went into a butchers, pondered upon what he fancied then asked the butcher for 1lb of salami, the butcher takes the salami, weighs is, then takes it to the slicing machine. Hobbs shouts "WOW WOW WOW buddy hold on a minute, what do you think I am a fucking slot machine?"
(Thu 8th Dec 2005, 16:31, More)