b3ta.com user chobb
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Profile for chobb:
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FAMILY MOTTO: She's a He and it's a cock.


Where bumf meets chaff

e-mail: chobb at fatdrunkandstupid dot com

Oh, and yes; I do live in a field. Sorry it took so long.

Recent front page messages:


Click for legible.
(Mon 7th Mar 2005, 9:00, More)

'Ow do?

(Fri 28th Jan 2005, 13:08, More)


(Mon 20th Dec 2004, 12:47, More)


(Thu 16th Dec 2004, 9:26, More)

(Mon 13th Dec 2004, 13:15, More)

What 'ave we 'ere?

(Fri 22nd Oct 2004, 13:32, More)


(Fri 27th Aug 2004, 13:16, More)

(Fri 25th Jun 2004, 11:03, More)

Fuck me, what a night.

(Thu 18th Mar 2004, 13:48, More)

(Fri 12th Mar 2004, 14:56, More)


(Fri 20th Feb 2004, 15:32, More)

(Thu 5th Feb 2004, 16:05, More)


(Thu 5th Feb 2004, 10:40, More)


(Thu 18th Dec 2003, 12:00, More)

Fucking stop it!

(Wed 10th Dec 2003, 15:44, More)

Go Brian!

(Wed 3rd Dec 2003, 16:07, More)

Last one for today.

See you all bright and early on Monday.

(Fri 7th Nov 2003, 17:11, More)

Best answers to questions:

» Fancy Dress

This year I dressed as ...

Or here if that image is blocked.
(Fri 13th Jan 2006, 10:03, More)

» It's not me, it's the drugs talking

Right then...
My mate and I did a trip in Blackpool and we'd just come out of the hall of mirrors in the pleasure beach. We'd seen ourselves as giants and, more importantly, as dwarfs. As we exited (I had to ask a slightly worried kid to lead us out because we were too confused) a group of young people walked past. One of them was a dwarf. I didn't connect that this dwarf was a 'real person' and dropped to my knees in front of her, pointed at her and shouted "Pete! It's a dwarf! A fucking dwarf!" As the whole crowd stopped and stared at me, I realised what I'd done and we scarpered.
(Thu 15th Dec 2005, 19:42, More)

» Foot in Mouth Syndrome

Man in Motion
Not me, but...

I was at a wedding reception and people were dancing, including a guy in a wheelchair. The 'Mobile DJ' was playing John Parr's 'Man in Motion' and he stopped the record and said, 'That was John Parr's 'Man in Motion' and we've got our own man in motion: man in a wheelchair. He's had the nerve to get up and have a dance. Give him a round of applause.’

Total silence.

Followed by the sight of the guy wheeling himself off the dance floor.
(Wed 21st Apr 2004, 15:04, More)

» I was drunk when I bought this

We were watching a HILARIOUS program about dwarfs and midgets. At least we thought it was.
Thinking it would be a Great Idea, I went upstairs and ordered the DVD of Willow. I still haven't watched it.

By the way, does anybody want to buy a DVD of Willow?
(Thu 9th Jun 2005, 13:21, More)

» When I met the parents

The first time I met my (then) girlfriend's parents,
we were in a restaurant. I went to the toilet and used the urinal. I looked down after I'd finished and a rogue jet of piss had created a HUGE wet patch on my Chinos. Thinking quickly, I raised my crotch to the hand dryer and spent 5 minutes drying my pants. Fortunately, the father didn't come in (although a few other people did).

When I returned, everyone thought I must have had an enormous dump. Not a good result whichever way round you look at it.
(Thu 19th May 2005, 14:32, More)
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