b3ta.com user funkenstein
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Profile for funkenstein:
Profile Info:

i like aeroplanes :)

Recent front page messages:


[edit]thanks for the FP - ace!
(Fri 25th Jun 2004, 23:29, More)

Ronnie corbetts fee had become unsustainable

(Fri 10th Oct 2003, 23:13, More)

Best answers to questions:

» I just don't get it

designer labels
i mean WTF is that all about???

Surely designers should pay YOU for being a walking billboard/whore for their shite products.

Tommy or calvin are welcome to pay me for advertising space on any of my clothes - how bout 20 quid for a sleeve logo for starters.
(Thu 31st Mar 2005, 12:24, More)

» Drunk Parents

The father in laws wake
Where my dad got pissed and went around telling my wifes family he wasn't dead yet and had no intention of dying for many years...

nice one dad...
(Fri 25th Feb 2011, 23:47, More)

» What nonsense did you believe in as a kid?

Oozalum birds
My dad told me after he had booked a beach holiday one year that the country we were going to was the home of the vicious Oozalum bird. Apparently they lived under the sand on the beach and nipped off your toes.

Of course being 7 i believed him and it took my mum lots of persuasion to get me to step onto the beach when we eventually went.

Course my dad thought this was hilarious.
(Wed 18th Jan 2012, 17:49, More)

» Stuff I've found

Dog walking free treats
i walk my 2 jack russel terriers every day and without fail i always find something worth taking home with me. Some of the more choice items include:

Marine Band Radio set.
Full size metal toolbox - complete with tools.
Dyson upright hoover (with a broken drive belt which cost me 2 quid to replace - result!)
Rabbit hutch
Various PC's
mountain bikes

People amaze me these days - they dump perfectly good stuff which could easily be repaired. Still their loss is my gain.

Although my wife has now banned me from bringing any more stuff home. :(
(Wed 12th Nov 2008, 15:41, More)

» Pathological Liars

The Ballad of Derek
Derek was an acquaintance who was always desperate to get into the army, he had all the keeness in the world, but unfortunately was last in line for brains. The best job he could land was a hospital porter. Little did we know he was leading a fantasy double life where he was corresponding with several women and pretending to be a captain in the infantry. We knew this as several suspicious letters arrived at the hospital addressed to Capt Derek X, so one of the lads thought he'd have a sly look. Turns out he was claiming to be a patient at the hospital, who was an infantry captain and that he had been seriously wounded on a tour of Northern Ireland. Needless to say he was referred to as Captain Bullshit after that and whenever he was around you could hear machine gun noises etc echoing down the halls.

Funnily he left the hospital after a short while and became a milkman. We later heard he was in prison as he'd been caught nicking the milk money.

(Fri 30th Nov 2007, 22:22, More)
[read all their answers]