b3ta.com user El Wapo
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» Misunderstood

Princess Di...
had just died and my gran phoned up my mom. Said she was pretty upset by the whole thing but couldnt understand why Pavarotti was chasing Di on a motorbike.
(Mon 10th Oct 2005, 9:47, More)

» Weddings

Cousins Wedding
My cousin got married a few a few years back and with half the family having Lebanese roots decided to have an Arabian theme to it. All the tables at the reception where lowered to the floor and people sat around on cushions. The tables also had Argillies (Hubbly Bubblys , bongs etc) on them. They where filled with nice aromatic tobaccos for the guests to enjoy after the meal.

I however took out the tobacco and filled it instead with some wacky backy and then put in some of the normal tobacco to hide the smell for me and my younger cousins to enjoy. As I finished doing this the father of the bride came swooping past and took it out of my hands placing it on the grandparents table.

I just stood there open mouthed as I watched them smoke away.
Half an hour later we had these golden oldies busting moves on the dance floor, giggling like a loons and generally having the time of their lives.

The groom was actually pretty pleased with it all.
(Wed 20th Jul 2005, 10:10, More)

» My computer gave away my secrets

A friend recently got himself a new flat. He had just moved out of living with his parents and was really proud of himself (despite being 29). Anyway invites us around to show off the flat. While he was in the kitchen making tea we set his new sky box to give him an automatic reminder to the Gay Porn channel the following day when his dad and grandfather where coming around to watch the football.

Would have loveded to have been there when he tried to explain that one away.
(Tue 14th Feb 2006, 16:49, More)

» Barred

No Soup for you!
(Tue 5th Sep 2006, 16:19, More)

» Encounters with Royalty

Hold up
Went to Royal Ascot and was walking to get into the the racetrack. Moving throught the crowds I noticed the the road was empty. As with everyone I hate to walk through crowds so I moved into the middle of the road.

Ambling away at my own pace I noticed that there people where staring at me. I started to feel uneasy. It was then I heard a toot. I turned around to see that I was holding up the entire Royal procession. So there you go, Queen has tonked her horn at me. I think she liked my tight buns.
(Fri 4th Aug 2006, 12:30, More)
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