» Cheating cheaty cheats

I was faced with perils
I could've faced them like a man
But I was too frightened
The odds were too numerous
So I did what any respectful man would
I jumped up the elevator and ran across the bloody ceiling into the secret warp zone pipes.
Then I got my ass butt raped by the guy in the cloud chucking spiny turtles at me T_T
(Sat 19th Nov 2005, 22:37, More)

» Dad Jokes

here's one
what's the difference between a bad marksman and a constipated owl?
one can shoot but can't hit and the other can hoot but can't shit!
(Wed 10th Dec 2003, 10:57, More)

» Lies Your Parents Told You

erm
we don't favour your little brother over you.
(Wed 14th Jan 2004, 13:37, More)

» Worst Record Ever

Anything by Clif Richard
Especially the lord's prayer. It's just the lord's prayer in the tune of Old Lang Syne and it's f***ing tedious. If he gets number one this Xmas then i will hang myself. No shitting this time.
(Wed 3rd Dec 2003, 14:56, More)

» The thing I've been most ashamed of doing with a penis

Making it talk
Push the sides together and you've got your very own puppet.
(Thu 12th Mar 2009, 21:03, More)