b3ta.com user Slurpy The Frog
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» Cheap Tat

At the beginning of my first year of uni,
I thought to myself (wisely) "I should buy a can opener."
Off I went to the nearby Tesco, and spotted a fairly functional-looking one, all metal, probably sturdy, only Tesco Value because (I thought) it was so no-frills and had uncomfortable handles.
I got it home and couldn't for the life of me open a can with it. I tried it every way up and every way round, but neither I nor anybody else could get it to work, as its business end had been made the wrong shape to grip a can.
It was a can't opener.

P.S. I since bought an identical one that does work.
(Mon 7th Jan 2008, 13:05, More)

» The passive-aggressive guilt trip

as if you care...

(Thu 13th Oct 2005, 21:44, More)

» My Wanking Disasters

Dis Myking Wanktaster
i was once in my room masturbating my headphones into a cup of tea. as soon as i had finished i rolled over and noticed on the bedside table, a steaming mother, whom my loud music had deposited while i had my eyes closed.
(Thu 3rd Jun 2004, 23:57, More)

» World's Most Hated Food

fuck off peas.
(Mon 12th Jul 2004, 21:08, More)

» Have you ever paid for sex?

When I was in Peru,
I spent a few days in Arequipa, decribed in all the guide books as a "beautiful city".

Beautiful as in brimming with whores, maybe.

Walking down the street with a bunch of mates one evening, looking for dinner, I felt a grab at my arm. Turning to see what it was all about, I was confronted with a group of Peruvian ladies of the night.

For reasons which I am currently unable to fathom, my way of dealing with the matter was to turn round and scream "FUCK OFF PROSTITUTES!" which they all found hilarious.

So no.
(Sun 22nd Jan 2006, 19:08, More)
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